2019 couples predictions


Yes to that last; most emphatically so.

I hope that Lee sees sense and leaves. I also hope Russ gets thrown out rather than ending up a fixture.


Depends what kind. He might, for instance, make excellent foundations for a small terrace or patio. Or gazebo. Or barbecue pit. Or carpark extension. Or…


True, but people nearly always Ask Awkward Questions when someone disappears.


Not in feckin’ Ambridge they don’t

not always, anyway.


“It turned out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all.”

I suppose the ex would complain about the lack of alimony after a bit.

The trick with foundations, I’m told, is to go for the large structural slabs with plenty of overdesign. Very little is more embarrassing than your barbecue pit collapsing into the ground, but a recognisably human skeleton would probably be it.


That reminds me of the Allman Brothers “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed”, which reminds me that Shula is digging up Phil’s body by degrees and that Bunter is showing his usual ambiguous interest. Cue a rogue elephant from Usha?


I think Alan walks a fine line between ministering to his parishioners and avoiding passes from the female ones (Helen, Shula). Each is the sort of person who is capable of taking the words “Good morning!” as some sort of commitment to a long-term relationship with her, after all.


Starter slurry-pit?


As favoured by Ambridge’s worst serial killer…



They are definitely still hinting at Russ and Elizabeth. Aside, do we know their respective ages? And anyone else getting the feeling that they are rather pushing Shula towards the new equine vet?


Elizabeth is certainly a bit flirty with Russ. I doubt it’s going to happen - though it’s true that Incest is one issue they haven’t so far touched (not that it really would be incest, but you know what I mean).

Shula? Yes, she does have that needy tone she was using with Doc Locke. Didn’t work on him and I can’t see it working on Jakob ‘I didn’t want a cup of tea’ Hackenson.


He really is very anti tea-and-cake, isn’t he! He’s definitely living in the wrong county!


I like that he’s deaf to hints. Ought to make him invulnerable to manipulations. I’d like to see Helen make a play for him and be met with a baffled look or ‘I don’t really like children’ or ‘I’m allergic to cheese’.


Snork, Janie. Or he could ask baldly what is wrong with the RLS (Retarded Little Sod)…


except the one which involves the prohibition on marrying your brother’s wife – since they are “made one flesh” at marriage I suppose that might be incest.

It’s allowed – in some places it is obligatory – if the brother is dead, but generally frowned on if he is alive when you start having sex with her.


In most places extramarital affairs are not illegal. Which is an example I like to give to the sort of person who says “it’s not illegal, so it must be OK”.


Incest is not actually illegal either, in many places. Depending on the sort of incest, obviously.


Not as much frowned on as when she isn’t, though. They haven’t done that one either…


Nah - that’d be dead boring


When I was a kid we were always told that incest was relatively boring…