Congratulations to you both, Armers!
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Thank you.
The gatepost which is being moved came down simply enough. They just pushed it over.
āHow ?ā quoth I.
āIt had a crack near the bottom. It wasnāt going to simply fall over but wouldnāt resist a good push !ā
I text this to Mrs. Shanks. āOh yes. That will be when I hit it a few months agoā. 
Bless her.
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Armers, I suggest that you tread very carefully. Would you like Mrs Shanks to hear that āthe drive takes precedenceā? Nah, thought not.
Congratulations to both, happy anniversary and many more of them.
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[quote=āGus, post:145, topic:50ā]
Would you like Mrs Shanks to hear that āthe drive takes precedenceā?
[/quote]A fair point, other than that when she got home she parked up ā¦ & then took a tour around the estate and was a full 20 minutes before she came in to the Little Bird g&t I had waiting for her as she discussed whether the widened gateway was wide enough.
So I think Iām safe tbh.
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Little Bird gin? Oooooh. That is rather good and the labels rather unsuitable for an old married man like you - shocked, I am, shocked.
It was a most kind and husbandly thought to have one of them waiting for Mrs S, and I trust all are now satisfied with the general expanded gatiness of being.
Gx
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Today I have been in to Ikea and bought a new mattress to fit the Ikea bed, which is of a size no ordinary English mattress will fit.
It is slightly surprising that a mattress 160cm x 200cm is sold rolled up into something that will fit into an ordinary estate car, and has to be laid out flat and left to expand for three days before use!
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Achieved so far today? Zilch. Unless removing cat-puke from a bra-cup counts: it was on the bathroom floor, having slipped off the bathroom chair, rather than on me at the time, which is something, I supposeā¦
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Well, thatās a blessingā¦
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You do know my peanut story, donāt you?
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Noā¦ Tell on?
One of the dalmatians had a strong and fairly rapid reaction to peanuts; I would ask people not to give them to him in the pub, and they would say, āOh, but heās asking so nicely!ā and I would say, āYes, but they arenāt good for him.ā
Then they would go into the the ājust one wonāt do any harmā idiocy and give him one or two, and I would make sure he was pointing at their shoes not mine when the inevitable happened a couple of minutes later.
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Goodness, that kind of thing makes me so cross. I used to have occasional charge of an ESS who was a terrible cadge and for whom crisps, etc, were Not Good. Impossible to get it through some peopleās thick skulls, though.
Anyway. Back to peanuts.
Out of an evening, all dressed up in a fairly low-cut top. Drink in moderate quantities was taken. Peanuts were consumed. Any pretence at morality was at some stage abandoned and I went home with someone I had had in my sights, hopelessly I had thought, for quite a while.
The sound of peanuts that had been safely lodged in my underpinnings pattering onto a hardwood floor was surprisingly loud and rather spoilt the mood for a bit, shall we say.
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A memory of my days gigging on board ferries:
Passenger (slightly green): Is there anything I could eat or drink that will help with seasickness?
Stewardess: Peanuts
Passenger: Thatāll stop it?
Stewardess: No, but theyāre easier to hoover up.
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The proper answer is probably ginger ale; ginger helps with most nausea.
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I never get seasick, unfortunately*
*Because you end up having to deal with / clean up after everyone else who does, thatās why
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Drive mostly done. Lay the final top coat of resin covered gravel on Tuesday.
Monday theyāre coming to take the suite away for a full refurb.
The staggeringly loud washing machine gave up the ghost ā¦ accompanied by a loud crack as the drum broke itās remaining retaining bolt mid spin. New one was delivered yesterday. My itās quiet.
Bought a new iron as the current one broke and the old reserve one appears to have sulked itself to death having been parked on a shelf too long. New irons arenāt as simple as they sound are they ?!
Walls re-tendering back end of next week.
New boiler & 11 radiators next Thursday/Friday. Which is all well & good but will mean considerable moving of furniture & āstuffā in 6 rooms so they can access the radās.
Things are moving along now at a pace.
Plastering, decorating and carpets for hall, bathroom & lounge to follow.
Oh ā¦ & just sprayed the fly which has bugged me (pun intended) for an hour. They do object to being sprayed.
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Went to a local solicitor for a Ā£5 signature witnessing that Iām gifting some money to my daughter and not laundering it because Iām bankrupt. Gave me a little flutter that perhaps, unknown to me, I am bankrupt 
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If you give me your bank account details, marj, Iāll keep an eye on the situation for you ;- )
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Iāll be back to you shortly Gus. Can you mail me your bank details - stupid@takentothecleaners.org
Please tell all your friends 
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And there was me thinking I had a foolproof plan. Well, it probably was fool proofā¦
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If it helps, I can put you in touch with a lawyer representing the interests of an oil merchant who died in a plane crash. He was kind enough to email me, but I sense your need may be greaterā¦
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