"…and suggested I slept with a pillow between my knees"

Should have thought of that eight months ago

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It’s not the sleeping that’s the problem…

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True. It’s the breathing.

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Yes. It’s so … persistent.

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The pillow between the knees thing works though. And I am definitely not pregnant. I am also definitely not Pip.

Well, good for Gran for giving her lots of fibre: she will shit most spectacularly all over the hospital when the Gharstly Heir is birthed.
Yuk
Sorry
If anyone was having a respectable late supper, double sorry. But [this kind of thing] happens.
Yrs, realistically
Gus x

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With any luck she won’t stop until she’s a skin balloon, all hot air and nasty smell.

Might not take all that long, really.

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No change there, then.

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It just occurred to me that maybe Jill did give the advice back then, but Pip misheard and thought she said “pillock”

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