# Book of Proverbs, Cellarite Version **URL:** \ **Category:** Not The Archers\ **Created:** [28 September 2020 18:34 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901 "2020-09-28T18:34:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:34 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/1 "2020-09-28T18:34:13Z")
Blame joe. Less a proverb, more a default position, that. But anyway: > [@So, who wants to help ... to instaurate the cellar?](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-instaurate-the-cellar/2871/1207): > > Better to snaffle a Stilton in its cage than to nurse an empty tum. I mean, Falling Sparrers are a trip hazard… ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:42 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/2 "2020-09-28T18:42:30Z")
The early bird turns over and goes back to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:47 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/3 "2020-09-28T18:47:44Z")
It is easy for a camel to piss on the knee of an idol _(Fragment from the Book of Ozymandias)_ ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:53 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/4 "2020-09-28T18:53:44Z")
The lips of a strange limpet drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:54 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/5 "2020-09-28T18:54:46Z")
> [@Fanta](#): > > her mouth is smoother than oil. Tell that to the rocks, dere ;- ) ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:57 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/6 "2020-09-28T18:57:11Z")
A stitch in time ought to be on a different thread. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 18:58 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/7 "2020-09-28T18:58:48Z")
Indeed. [Knittery and Stitchery and Stuff](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/knittery-and-stitchery-and-stuff/2291) to be precise. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 19:05 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/8 "2020-09-28T19:05:16Z")
If you break the bloody glass Darrington will provide another. He will also look Pained and slightly reproachful ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 19:07 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/9 "2020-09-28T19:07:25Z")
The early sparrer gets most of the bacon butties ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 19:22 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/10 "2020-09-28T19:22:47Z")
A woman of median virtue, her price is above Ruby’s and Big Sal’s but considerably lower than GBS’s interlocutor’s opening offer. ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 20:18 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/11 "2020-09-28T20:18:34Z")
The fear of the Sparrer’s Bruvver is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom, instruction, and big sticks wiv nails in 'em. […] If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: consider whether _thou_ mayst be the innocent in question. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 20:38 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/12 "2020-09-28T20:38:35Z")
Devise not evil against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee, unless the bugger planteth leylandii, which wax taller and less comely than cedars of Lebanon, at which point all bets are off. ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 21:27 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/13 "2020-09-28T21:27:07Z")
Plotting destruction leylandii is a virtue When accomplished it destroys an evil weed ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 21:29 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/14 "2020-09-28T21:29:03Z")
- If thine eye offend thee, stop looking in the bloody mirror. - It is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, particularly if they voted against you. ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 21:40 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/15 "2020-09-28T21:40:10Z")
Too many cooks spoil the TV schedule. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 21:46 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/16 "2020-09-28T21:46:44Z")
> [@joe](#): > > If thine eye offend thee, Dearie me, you set me off in pursuit of this. What still alive at twenty-two, A clean, upstanding chap like you? Sure, if your throat is hard to slit, Slit your girl’s, and swing for it. Like enough, you won’t be glad When they come to hang you, lad: But bacon’s not the only thing That’s cured by dangling from a string. So, when the spilt ink of the night Spreads o’er the blotting-pad of light, Lads whose job is still to do Shall whet their knives, and think of you. ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 22:24 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/17 "2020-09-28T22:24:43Z")
And there came forth a mighty pounding, as if all the legions of Beelzebub did march forth beating drums of war・And a dense fog hung about the airless cavern・And strange lights did pierce the darkness with ungodly hues・And I beheld seven fat cows and with them also I beheld seven thin cows・And all were bedecked with sparkles・And at the centre stood, though unsteadily, one adornèd with a tabard bearing the Mystic Rune of the Red L・And they did carouse and quaff mightily and most noisily・And all who saw knew great fear・For by these signs did all know it was the Eve of the Sabbath in the land of Ēastseaxe. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 22:58 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/18 "2020-09-28T22:58:19Z")
Ah, I do miss me lovely Ēastseaxe girls. Pthink Ptraci in Ptyramids: half temple dancer, half bandsaw. My lot favoured the bandsaw side, on the whole. I did enjoy a query I fielded re our Ethics Committee… ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [28 September 2020 23:43 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/19 "2020-09-28T23:43:53Z")
Yea, though thou walkest through the valley of the shadow of death, thou wilt fear no evil: for thine eye be fixèd solely upon thy bloody phone and thou wouldst not notice even if an herd of elephants run into thee. * * * And the Lord sent many Signs, that the people should know the True Path and be Safe in the Eyes of the Lord as they went about their business. But some there were who looked not to the Signs and cared naught for their fellow man as he walked upon the set path, saying, “Lord, these Signs speak not to us nor do we care for the True Path and the Ways that Thou has set forth, for we are Cyclists and shall go wheresoever it bloody well pleaseth us.” * * * And then the Lord sent forth His Vengeance, and that Vengeance roared mightily and belched forth smoke as it swept all before it in its Dreadful Chariot. Let him that hath sense fear and shun the number of the beast: for it is an inhuman number; and the number is **16** or as they who would be its false prophets count it, **4 x 4** ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [29 September 2020 00:00 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901/20 "2020-09-29T00:00:12Z")
> [@joe](#): > > for thine eye be fixèd solely upon thy bloody phone and thou wouldst not notice even if an herd of elephants run into thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. And also look upon the way thou art bleedin’ well going, Son: for the Lord thy God hath set it plain before thee, and He and thy mother might care but none other shall ease their bowels about it. [Next page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/book-of-proverbs-cellarite-version/2901.md?page=2)