Can there be anything more important

…than keeping the Brookfield cake tin filled? Alan would surely regard that as heresy.

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She is the one that made a fetish of the damned thing in the first place. Driven primarily not by the recipients’ desire or need for endless cake but a greedy ego and pathetic need to be needed. And now she has gone potty. Please can she be locked up somewhere off-mike in perpetuity. David can take her fresh straws for her hair on fortnightly visits.

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On reflection, joe, do you reckon the fool Franks would recognise heresy if it leapt up and bit him on the bum?

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Have you not heard his sermon on the four thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine who hungered, asking “Lord, who is it hath eaten all the pies?”

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