Don't do what I did, you need a clean break

so don’t go getting the woman pregnant after you’ve broken up.

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Yes.

Tom was even more than usually frightful tonight. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible.

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He’s almost as good as Helen at giving relationship advice.

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And at telling lies. What was all that crap about having an understanding with Hazel that he and Natasha would get first refusal on the flat if it fell vacant? He hadn’t even spoken to her before she let it to Chris, how did this understanding get reached? Carrier pigeon?

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“Well, this is my driving licence. You see where it says ‘Archer’?”

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Yes, that’s why Hazel evicted him.

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For once I am with Hazel

It will do ANY Archer good to be treated like the rest of humanity for once

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Except that the eviction was entirely unreasonable, and in real life would simply not have happened, at least before July or so this year, certainly not before Christmas after first the wrong notice period being given on the wrong date in a month, and then the introduction of a completely spurious pretext for eviction, ie receiving parcels meaning that Natasha must be using the flat as a business premises. Oh, and she used her computer late into the evenings, that must have been work. No court would have looked at those excuses as much as twice; one glance and they would have been rejected.

So he was being treated worse than the rest of humanity. If he hadn’t also been stupider than the rest of humanity, Hazel would not have got him out as she did.

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The other thing that occurs to me is that his attempt to get back in is a pointless lie. I mean, suppose he says to Chris “Hazel promised me first refusal” and Chris actually believes him: “Ar, roight you are Mr Archer zur, oi’ll just tell Hazel she’m made a mistake”. Hazel will then say… several things, none of them polite, and Tom still won’t get the flat.

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It’s a bonkers storyline. Was it all done to create the situation where Tom and Natasha move into Bridge Farm? Or give Hazel somewhere to stay? I thought we were going to discover she had lost all her money and couldn’t stay at Grey Gables, but they never pursued that line.

One other thing that is totally incredible is that although there were inevitable problems with Tom and Natasha, there was never any suggestion that Helen and Henwee, then Helen, Henwee and Jack had outstayed their welcome at Bridge Farm. Just that one scene where Johnny was brushing his teeth at the kitchen sink. Pat even commented on how easy it had been having Helen and the Boys in the house, compared with Tom and Natasha. Really?

As for Tom handing out advice to Chris, what a twit. I realise he was saying don’t make the same mistake I did, but really, he should keep his mouth shut. He has no idea what Chris has been through and still has to come. I don’t suppose Chris has stopped worrying about Martha having foetal alcohol problems manifest themselves later on. So shut up, Tom.

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Did Helen ever actually move out long enough for them to settle into a routine? Even when she was supposed to be living elsewhere, P&T were expected to be on call 24/7 for babysitting.

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It’s lucky for Pat and Tony that Lee’s daughters took a sensible and instant dislike to Helen, otherwise they’d have the four of them dumped on them, no doubt. Yikes, though, I’d be dreading the future if I were Pat and Tony. Twins! They should run away very fast and very far.

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