# Help Needed, I'm Mystified **URL:** \ **Category:** Not The Archers\ **Created:** [23 December 2021 19:49 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741 "2021-12-23T19:49:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/thatfunnymummy/32/8722_2.png) [@ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/ThatFunnyMummy)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:49 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/1 "2021-12-23T19:49:16Z")
I’m sure the brains here can solve this one but I can’t. A thread started elsewhere by Orkney Library has photos of books on the theme of ‘Elf on a Shelf’ (don’t ask why, I dunno). eg: ![FHTNeYbWUAAOyn7](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/0/0fbddbded8e70eef9b761db265f5f2ccd0bcc47f.jpeg) ![FHUBH6kX0AgVcoD](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/a/a84b55fbf8569a15ba24abbe729a908d53b09097.jpeg) ![FGvPeauVkAAf0VS](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/1/127100d9a2bf4285289db75aa1321a0484ab1ab2.jpeg) and loads more, but this one has me stumped. What the hell is it? ![FHT88yJXoAUaZ6_](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/a/a94a1b114b1d36068997765089e403af52037ad4.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:52 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/2 "2021-12-23T19:52:37Z")
I cannot brain: I has the dumbs. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:54 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/3 "2021-12-23T19:54:59Z")
I don’t get any of them. What is “Elf on a Shelf”? ---
**Author:** ![ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/thatfunnymummy/32/8722_2.png) [@ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/ThatFunnyMummy)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:55 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/4 "2021-12-23T19:55:02Z")
Please don’t be sorry, I’m very relieved that I have company in the dumbdrums. ---
**Author:** ![ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/thatfunnymummy/32/8722_2.png) [@ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/ThatFunnyMummy)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:57 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/5 "2021-12-23T19:57:01Z")
I’m not sure where it came from, it’s just A Thing for some reason. So, Plath in the Bath, Knight on the Wright, Twain on a Drain etc… But I can’t do it with the last one! ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:57 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/6 "2021-12-23T19:57:27Z")
> [@Fanta](#): > > What is “Elf on a Shelf”? An abomination. Usually on ‘the’ shelf. Plenty of jeremaiads about the creepy little sod on mumsnet. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:58 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/7 "2021-12-23T19:58:15Z")
Anne on the can? (They didn’t think that through, did they?) ---
**Author:** ![ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/thatfunnymummy/32/8722_2.png) [@ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/ThatFunnyMummy)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 19:59 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/8 "2021-12-23T19:59:56Z")
Oh, could be I suppose. I which case I just didn’t get it cos it’s so blasted weak. Huh! ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 20:49 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/9 "2021-12-23T20:49:32Z")
Ah, you beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 21:03 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/10 "2021-12-23T21:03:15Z")
I then went away to set up _Plath in an Oven_, but we don’t have any books here with her name on the cover. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 21:07 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/11 "2021-12-23T21:07:47Z")
In one way, that is a Great Pity. ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 21:34 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/12 "2021-12-23T21:34:48Z")
I am slightly surprised that I don’t have _Ariel_ somewhere; I had to buy it at one point. Only I am a bit of a peasant, and much preferred Stevie Smith and Charles Causley. ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 23:30 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/13 "2021-12-23T23:30:35Z")
Apparently this one’s been doing the rounds a fair bit: ![Screenshot 2021-12-23 at 23.28.34](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/e/e130e81c6fdb56a442a8ef70c0aa7f467f2369fd.png) ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [23 December 2021 23:34 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/14 "2021-12-23T23:34:22Z")
Quite right too. ‘_Two ethnologists up with the Sioux…_’ ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [24 December 2021 10:15 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/15 "2021-12-24T10:15:03Z")
Eeeek! Health warning prior to viewing photos of a clown in a punt ---
**Author:** ![EbonyBull](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/ebonybull/32/530_2.png) [@EbonyBull](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/EbonyBull)\ **Post date:** [24 December 2021 11:02 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/16 "2021-12-24T11:02:56Z")
Slightly off-topic but: I presume you know why the pre-Euro Irish currency is known as the “punt”? … because it rhymes with “banker” … ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [24 December 2021 11:14 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/17 "2021-12-24T11:14:23Z")
In Ireland, can you wank with the Batnest? It’s a step up from barking with Banclays. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [24 December 2021 11:16 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/18 "2021-12-24T11:16:25Z")
The Wetmonster is purely Notional. And if you don’t believe me, ask Norman Greenfly… ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [6 March 2022 21:56 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/19 "2022-03-06T21:56:03Z")
Beans on the table I am flummoxed by the spy catcher one ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [6 March 2022 23:16 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741/20 "2022-03-06T23:16:46Z")
Knight on Wright? (none of it was wot you might call _sophisticated_, after all) [Next page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/help-needed-im-mystified/3741.md?page=2)