"Is your steak rare enough?"


The Dopeys’ culinary skills writ large. Is she expecting to be able to make it rarer?


“I’ll just pop it in the time oven.”


Quite. I can’t remember now whether that elicited the third or the fourth Foxtrot Oscar of this episode’s impressive tally.

And then the spuds boiled over. Purely coincidental, I’m sure.


Gas and electricity bills drop throughout the UK as food becomes cooked by spontaneous outpourings of powerful feeling…


Coz ovens don’t maintain redidual heat ?


Ovens do, but a time oven will unheat it, and then render it back to the original cow.


Only if you use too high a setting


Be careful. Set it too high and you’ll set off a chain reaction that will cause a rift in the space time continuum.


Brace yerselves anyway, deres: I feel some biscuits coming on.


Cheesy Biscuits ?



It’s already happened. It’s called Ambridge.


I am authorised to darn holes in the continuum, but I am not sure about rifts.


Oh surely a rift would be a lot easier to darn than a hole. I mean, you can’t be authorised to drive HGVs without having already qualified to drive an ordinary vehicle …


Quite the reverse. Gory details will apprar in the Cellar.