Having lost Carina, Ian’s ready to give up on surrogacy. Kirsty empathises and Ian asks how she’s doing. Kirsty’s ok - in fact, she feel s ready for ‘action’.
Oh no. No you don’t. Don’t even think about it.
4 Likes
Just what she needs to do having had so much angst over losing the one before. As if she could actually give one away … & as if she could watch two others bring it up.
4 Likes
To be fair, Armers, Kirsty didn’t angst particularly - and quite right too, seeing as how it could never, being half BFNI, have hoped to lead a normal life. It was the fool Tom who was rending garments and wailing. Pollock.
3 Likes
True, Gussett. But “don’t go letting facts get in the way of a good character assassination”. That’s my motto.
4 Likes
Good assassination of a character, or the assassination of a good character? (The latter being the SWs’ speciality.)
3 Likes
She sort of did. The ‘not grieving properly’ scenes are engraved on my mind. All that ‘I’m fine’ and people telling her anxiously she wasn’t fine, so eventually she gave in and did the thing properly, according to instructions. I’d have so loved it if Kirsty had punched all those people who were telling her she needed to take time to grieve, nagging and nagging away at her until it became true.
5 Likes
Yes, one of the more annoying bits of stereotyping, that was. If you “lose” a baby, then you must be absolutely grief-sodden about it. The idea that you might think to yourself “I didn’t plan to have a baby, particularly not one with that father, so it might actually be quite a good thing it has died” and not in fact suffer uncontainable enduring sorrow about it is not acceptable.
But it was Tom, wasn’t it, who went on about the due day and how he would have been a father today – as if babies reliably turn up on the day the doctors have decided that they ought to! And other people who told Kirsty how sorry they were that today must be even worse for her than others had been since, well you know… That is the point at which had I been Kirsty I would have decked someone.
5 Likes
Yes, and it can work the other way round, telling a person not to be sad. Either way it’s officious and impertinent.
I can well believe a person having a late miscarriage would be sad even if they had not planned the pregnancy and I can believe a person might suppress their grief (or not suppress it, just prefer to be sad in private, free from unwanted hugs and empathy) but those scenes where they crowbarred in sound-bites on How To Deal With Grief After A Miscarriage sounded as if they were dictated straight from a leaflet. They always bloody over-egg the pudding when they have a Message to get out, don’t they?
5 Likes