Northumbrian Fishwife


#1

used to be a standard phrase,I think?


#2

I believe our Soobers knows some lovely ones. Not like Ruth. Does it not occur to her that they have given Josh no encouragement or guidance ever?


#3

Josh was trying to sort out his life, wunne? I mean, that was the problem


#4

I was just sorry she didn’t give the snivelling spineless gutless wretch a proper dressing down


#5

Never mind, dere, I expect his ever-loving sister will pile in.


#6

Yes, you have to remember he had a very disadvantaged upbringing.

He wasn’t Pip.


#7

And Pip’s achievments are?

Having unprotected sex resulting in a child

Ummm

Errr

Can anyone think of any others?


#8

Not being strangled for her entire life. That’s got to count for something.


#9

But as a Brokefailed Archer she is exempt from slow strangulation surely?


#10

I can think of no reason why she should be…


#11

Particularly galling considering all the alternatives it could have led to.


#12

“Cattoo”

A nice fatal disease, for example.


#13

Why a nice one?


#14

A long painful slow disease would be my idea for Pip


#15

As long as we didn’t actually have to listen to it.

Well, not all of it.


#16

Just the highlights? Yeah, I’d be up for that, although they could do one of those ‘all day’ - sorry ‘across the day’ - broadcasts, and I’d be up for that too.


#17

Highlights could be difficult

How do you whittle such a joyous listening experience down to just highlights?


#18

…well, there’s always TheGroggTurnipMemorialShotGub! …eh?