One-liners to April 8

22 Mar Jim fears for the future of the Parish council while Susan has a mountain to climb.
23 Mar There’s surprising news for the Carters and the storm clouds gather for Rex.
24 Mar Susan hatches a plan and Kate is determined to help.
25 Mar Reality bites for Alice and Chris, while Susan’s behaviour causes concern.

29 Mar The stakes are raised at the Parish Council meeting and Tracy lends a helping hand.
30 Mar Lynda is on the warpath and Harrison offers his support.
31 Mar Ben has romance in mind and Lynda goes into battle.
01 Apr It’s judgement day for Kirsty, and Emma faces a dilemma.

05 Apr Jazzer questions his choices and Kirsty contemplates where to go from here.
06 Apr Brian attempts to be supportive and Tracy is left speechless.
07 Apr The worry sets in for Chris while Kate makes her presence felt.
08 Apr Reality bites for Alice, and Helen makes plans for the future.


“There’s job security in being a comedy Scotsman, but is it fulfilling?”


“I know what it’s like – I used to have a personality too.”


“Little Martha should have been breathing water by now, same way I did when I was a lad!”

“Do you smell gin?”

“I’m sure my drinking during the pregnancy isn’t the reason for her fangs!”

“And then I’ll get Dad to put up the Temple of Helen, where my worshippers can queue while they’re waiting to see Me…”


Had F3* baptised her rather than doing that somewhat inclusive and prolix blessing, then she would of course be an Early Christian Martha.
Yes, that is my coat, oh how kind

*the fat fool Franks


Oh I dunno, would you bet on his strength of spirit against the Ambridge Look?