"Only a Spode",

or “The Widower’s Confession”

The hallowed porcelain was laid
In state on cottage cill:
Last relic of a septic ‘maid’,
Sole comfort to poor Will.

(We really need another Will,
Like Wordsworth, for this crap.)
Bold Emma in her Marigolds,
She smashed it on the tap.

“Begone, vexatious besom!” cried
The sore-tried Widower
And made to shove her out the door.
Em didn’t budge – not her!

“Such fuss about some dirty cup .
Oh Will, you’ve gone all soppy –“
“You twice-fished ditch, best button up:
T’was there to poison - Poppy!”


You are a Bad Gus and a Good Thing.

Only a Spode is Wodehouse?


Roderick of the Black Shorts is*. I had a misremembered sentimental ballad bouncing around at the back of my mind, though: Only A Rose From Mother’s Grave. Doesn’t really fit, I know. But in my defence it was rather late (as indeed is Nic)

*no, nothing like David of the White Rock.

please send help


Wasn’t it footer bags - or am I misremembering?