Our thoughts are with Adam and Ian at this difficult time

Ian’s gone broody
And terribly moody:
He tussles with bantams
For cwtchy wee eggs.
He droops and he moults,
His demeanour revolts -
Mainly he tantrums
But sometimes he begs

for a bayyyyybeeee.

And Adam is worried:
The takeaway, curried,
Served only to widen
The rift in their lute.
By no means reconciled
To the thought of a child
Who time would be biding
To puke down his suit

Like a bayyybeeee

Ere Bacchus could talk
Or decently walk
Down Olympus he fell
From the arms of his nurse…
Well we have a hot tub
And a briefly unwatched bub
Will crawl in a beeline…

It could have been worse.

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Lovely!

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Fankee, Fanta.

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Brilliant, Gus

I can get away without listening to the programme…

Carinthia.xx

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Any poem which includes the word “puke” is in the higher echelons in my book.

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I am hoping Adam agrees to have a child (how? adoption, fostering, surrogacy? don’t really care) and Ian is totally discombobulated because that was not in the least what he wanted. He thought he was asking for the moon and could forever hold it against Adam for saying he couldn’t have it.

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Kidnap? That would be a stunning example of reusing a plotline!

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Yes indeed. Are you thinking of Adam being kidnapped when he was a baby? Who will be the kidnapper? It should be Adam for perfect symmetry.

Have there been any other kidnappings, does anyone remember?

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It has to be Adam. I don’t recall any other kidnappings.

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Ben.

Surely he’s chained to a radiator in a derelict farmhouse in Manitoba with a disembodied mirthless chuckle as a tray of crumble & custard is shoved toward him each evening his only human near-contact.

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Poor little sod, it’s probably gooseberry crumble to make his misery complete.

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Any kind of crumble is an Abomination unto Nuggan. Crumbles were invented by a tribe too lazy to make Proper Pastry. Anyway, I’m pleased to read that Ben’s circumstances have improved so dramatically.

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With a time machine?

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Back in the days… (1960s) ISTR Walter Gabriel found the remains of an old well in his garden. Which he wanted to turn into a wishing-well, to make some cash at the village fete etc.

Dan and Ned talked the old fool out of it, but what happened to the well, Surely now that Batman and Robin are living at Honeysuckle Cottage, it would be an ideal time for this well to be rediscovered and for both of them to disappear down it, never to be heard of again.

Wishful thinking I know… But…

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The hot-tub suddenly vanished downwards…

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According to the Magnetic North map, southwest of the village, where the Hollerton Road crosses the Am, are the promising sounding “Pits (disused)”.

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Ah, the gravel-pits where Eddie searched for Clarrie when she went missing in despair over the e-Coli.

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He seems to have brought back the wrong person.

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Then we must use them. It’s humbug just saying those pits are disused. There were pits all over Kent, Nottinghamshire and Yorkshire, which since the collapse of the coal industry are now doing valuable service hiding the mistakes of assorted politicians.
It’s time we got our share and used those Ambridge Pits to dispose of the mistakes of the TA writers.

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Arguably three superfluous words there

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