Priorities

Jolene, licensee of the local pub, pressures a vet to change his schedule for the afternoon so he can go haring off after a social media lead on the possible whereabouts of some delinquent village trollop.
Yeah, that makes sense. “Closed, searching for Chels, beer available in most supermarkets” or “Sorry your dog is pissing blood and in obvious agony, but an almost adult has stropped off into the wide blue”?

Oh. Chelsea dressed Denise for her not-winning-after-all night out. So Alistair obviously owes it to the Family Horrobin.

< spewk >

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I think Kenton does still have a car.

Felpersham is twenty miles away.

Why was this little jaunt going to take two hours?

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That does seem like the sort of car Kenton would have.

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Last we heard he had a fancy 4x4. Probably at someone else’s expense. (And certainly at the expense of Eccles.) IIRC he’d gone to an auction to help one of the local brats (Jamie?) get a suitable first car, but got sidetracked.

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And he recently got done for speeding, iircc, which we heard because the pillar-box ate his homework or licence or something oh noes, woe and gernashing.
Git.

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Yes, but don’t forget who the main speed-gun vigilante is. “Speeding” in Ambridge is passing La Snell before she has time to rope you in to her current ego-trip

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She is going to be intolerable, isn’t she? More than usually. My toes are curling already.

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Dealership, car for Freddie and Lily from Elizabeth. Yes, one car between the two of them; some fscking present.

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Was the highly improbable venue for a sighting (I don’t believe soft play centres can employ casual labour) a subconscious admission on the part of the scripties that this whole thing is a colossal heap of balls?

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There was an inflatable monkey cage too…

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But was it the cage or the monkey that was inflatable?

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The results of a feasibility study conducted using a handy marmoset and the lad next door’s bicycle pump lead me to conclude that it must be the former.

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Lumme, I just did an image search (which suggests “both”, with the monkey as a fixture or fitting of the cage).

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Well, it would seem that Richard Thwaite is the only denizen of Ambridge with any sense at all. The Fallon/Jolene combo make me puke.

And an FLO? Why? It’s not a missing six-year-old, she’s not been found dismembered in a ditch, sadly, and she left voluntarily taking charger and bank card. In a pig’s eye would they get an FLO (oh, unless they suspect Jazzer or Brad), who is basically a spy in your house.

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At this point I suspect the police would stand down: she has been in contact and said she is ok, she will be an adult by the time they find her at this rate, and they have better things to do with their time and resources.

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On reflection, ‘in a pig’s eye’ was possibly not the best choice of words, but on the other hand, TBTB clearly don’t know the difference between ‘scam’ and ‘hoax’, and they are being paid…

And yes, the polis bloody well should stand down. Colossal waste of resources, even if the ‘resource’ in question is mainly the idiot Burns.

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A blessing in disguise? Think of the damage he could do if let loose on something important.

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You’re not wrong, my poultry-herding friend.

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The correct term is “flocking”, as in “those flocking hens are out again”

Thought I may possibly have misheard. Then again, it’s only words - who really gives a cluck?

Well, they do, of course. Loudly and often…

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Aww, lovely Katie.

But I’m not sure you are correct. They flock, you herd.

I said ‘they flock, you herd!’
oh, never mind. Pint?
(aside) Funny, he heard that all right

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