Ruth blames Pip ... for upsetting Clarrie!

The Archers
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Unbelievable! We have Dave going all mushy over the Penitent Pip and Ruth going the other way, blaming Pip for her own nasty temper. Neither is dealing with the crisis at hand. What a stupid pair the Dopeys are! (Sorry, tautology.)

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You tautologise as much as you need to, dearie, you are among friends.
And as I have questioned before, why are Clarrie’s (Clarry’s?) feelings so darned important anyway? She was the one who crapped on her hands and nearly killed off poor little Milly (Millie?) Robson. ‘Nearly’ doesn’t cut it, in my book.
Ruth is a stunted imbecile. No, I don’t mean her imbecility hasn’t come to full fruition, it is definitely gettiing there. I mean that she is short, and also imbecilic. Clear now? Grand.
Need to open door to let the steam coming oot me ears - oot. I’m sure you understand.

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Ruth’s only saving grace today was that she didn’t seem to care much that she upset Helen. Normally, you’d think that would be a lot more important, Helen being An Archer (once more) and After All She Went Through Last Year (in case anyone has forgotten).

Speaking of which, I wonder if they raised their glasses at Bridge Farm and said, ‘Just remember, Helen, this time last year you were in grey jogging bottoms. Happy Birthday!’

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I think she didn’t care about upsetting Helen because she did it on purpose, and Helen had asked for it; she did care about upsetting Clarrie because that was an accident and Clarrie was a bystander caught in the crossfire.

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It’s still good Clarrie was ‘upset’, though. You have to chalk that one up for Ruth.

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You are being so unfair to imbeciles, comparing them to Ruth.

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Did they have a party to celebrate Helen getting away with it?

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An appropriate birthday present would have been one which a friend of mine gave her husband: a knife skills course.

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Also, Helen was very ‘off’ with Ruth from the start without any provocation whatsoever (well, being Ruth is a provocation in itself but then this is Helen, so honours are about even there). Ruth was biting back. She called it defending Brookfield but it was actually a counter-attack. ‘Oh yeah? We may be Lurgy Farm today, but do the words ‘Milly Robson’ mean anything to you?’

That’s about the level of traded insults between the various Archers, the jewel in the crown being Tom: ‘My Daddy says you’re not as good a farmer as your Daddy was. So ner.’

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The cake would show a figure under the front wheels of a car, with a knife sticking out of his abdomen.

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Being sat on by a bull.

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I’ve heard of a runcible spoon. I have now heard of a tautologous pear.

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But what of the Co-operative Cauliflower, Aisling?

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Dear me, that does sound rude. Are batteries included?

I believe I may have told Elsewhere the true story of the Saturday teenaged girl at the greengrocer’s till, “How much are the cauliflowers?” said I. “What’s a cauliflower?” said she. What do they teach them in these schools?

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“A vehicle for cheese sauce.”

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“Are yew dissin’ me?”

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“Yur bu’, no bu’…”

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I thought that what with knowing the Runcible Spoon, you would surely also know The Story of the Four Little Children Who Went Round the World, Aisling.

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I’m sure they’re safely tucked up in bed. Are they related to Winken, Blinken and Nod?

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Not that I know of. Violet, Slingsby, Guy and Lionel were quite down-to-earth, or at least, down-to-sea.

http://www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/ns/fc.html

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