# So, who wants to help ... to cavort in the cellar? **URL:** \ **Category:** Not The Archers\ **Created:** [12 October 2025 20:19 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182 "2025-10-12T20:19:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 11:28 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/41 "2025-10-15T11:28:15Z")
Why, thank you, Carinthia! Just the job. Slàinte Mhath! Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 12:36 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/42 "2025-10-15T12:36:41Z")
He appears to have a cat as well, and the cat appears to be planning to murderize the photographer. ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 12:41 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/43 "2025-10-15T12:41:00Z")
To be in keeping with all the home-making going on, I am off out to look at a mattress, or more to the point to lie on a mattress and see whether it feels firm enough for my needs. The one I have at present has developed a sag in it so acute that it has quite literally made a hole in one of my sheets where my elbow went down into the mattress and there was suddenly no mattress to lean on. This sag is in a place where I am absolutely certain to lean and thus go through another sheet, so what else can I do? The problem is that the bed I have is a “Queen”, or a Small Double, four foot wide; this is non-standard to the point of being regarded by bed sales persons as weirdness. Dreams, which is the local shop here, don’t have mattresses to fit them! So I am reduced to a long trek to Ikea, who have precisely one make, the VALEVÅG, in that size, but do offer a ten-year guarantee, which since the one I have at the moment may have cost half as much but has been useable for less than three years, is something of a draw. Wish me luck! They almost certainly won’t have one in stock, but they do in fact deliver to our local Tesco, apparently, so once I have made sure I want it I can order one and fetch it from there. Or they may even deliver to the door. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 12:43 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/44 "2025-10-15T12:43:07Z")
Good luck, wor Fish! ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 12:49 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/45 "2025-10-15T12:49:58Z")
All paws and wings crossed here ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 13:07 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/46 "2025-10-15T13:07:27Z")
Encouraging waggle dance happening here, Fishers. A new mattress seems like a Very Good Idea. Our best mattress (also 4 feet wide) is on a spare bed - Healthopaedic is the brand. Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 13:41 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/47 "2025-10-15T13:41:22Z")
Ikea mattresses are supposed to be very good quality, Fishy. What sort of base do you have it on? My double bed base has storage drawers on either side, & a piece of hardboard was made to fit the top. It ‘stabilises’ the mattress. Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 15:48 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/48 "2025-10-15T15:48:02Z")
The bed was made for me by a Deserving Cause who happened to be a rather good carpenter, and has a slat base high enough from the ground for getting in and out to be easy, and storage boxes to fit underneath. I now have the desired mattress, which is unwrapped and unwound and breathing its way to useable. I lay down on both the Firm and the Medium Firm and opted for Firm. And they had it in stock. Also, a first for me in Ikea, an assistant asked if he could help, and then helped, and wrote down the details for me when he discovered I had no phone to take a picture of the product number, aisle and location in the storage shelves downstairs. Win all round, I feel. Slammers? ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 16:32 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/49 "2025-10-15T16:32:28Z")
Oh well done, Fishy Did it fit in Mini? I know that many mattresses come rolled, these days. Accepts Slammer innan Grateful Manner Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 16:50 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/50 "2025-10-15T16:50:35Z")
I went in Glorious Skoda, because she can go into the ULEZ and Mini can’t, but it probably would have fitted in Mini, just. Yes, it was a roll, and it weighed 56lb. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 17:00 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/51 "2025-10-15T17:00:34Z")
‘Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy’? ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 17:02 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/52 "2025-10-15T17:02:09Z")
Have several Gus biscuits when you stop bouncing ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 17:18 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/53 "2025-10-15T17:18:44Z")
I’m not the one with the sproingy new mattress, Twellsy, but I’ll take the biscuits anyway. Thank you. Gxx ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 17:29 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/54 "2025-10-15T17:29:34Z")
Our new 5 years ago mattress is still very bouncy and feels like sleeping on a supportive cloud ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 18:17 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/55 "2025-10-15T18:17:41Z")
I got a duff one last time. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [15 October 2025 21:14 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/56 "2025-10-15T21:14:57Z")
[muted boingity] Sleep tight, Cellarites. Gxx Must have been all the IKEA talk, but I nearly choked onna Swedish meatball earlier. Wor Chatelaine - no doubt currently patching her eardrum - can testify. ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [16 October 2025 08:23 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/57 "2025-10-16T08:23:04Z")
Morning all. Solid grey sky, good for camouflagin’ an bird. # yardarm ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [16 October 2025 08:36 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/58 "2025-10-16T08:36:15Z")
Morning all May your day be filled with flolloping mattresses and unkinked backs ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [16 October 2025 13:45 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/59 "2025-10-16T13:45:34Z")
My day has involved being chased by a bleedin’ gurt ‘ornet. ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [16 October 2025 14:06 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182/60 "2025-10-16T14:06:48Z")
I wonder what would happen if a hornet got into one of those dodgy nightclubs where they mist alcohol into the air. [Previous page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182.md?page=2) [Next page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cavort-in-the-cellar/5182.md?page=4)