# So, who wants to help ... to cower in the cellar? **URL:** \ **Category:** Not The Archers\ **Created:** [26 April 2019 15:45 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735 "2019-04-26T15:45:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 496
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [10 January 2020 23:30 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9902 "2020-01-10T23:30:12Z")
> [@joe](#): > > not having a clue who or what that is about? It was rumoured, largely on the strength of Prince Harry having red hair, that he was the fruit of a liaison between his mother and James Hewitt. Which would have involved time travel, but is the obvious explanation because ginger hair is of course completely unknown on the maternal side… Said prince and his missus are somewhat in the news at the moment. > [@joe](#): > > shouldn’t we be making plans for relocating? Probably, yes. Not tonight though ;- ) ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [10 January 2020 23:36 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9903 "2020-01-10T23:36:39Z")
Prolly, Joe… Do have an Drink Proffers Pitcher I am wrapping Christmas presents… Pick yourselves up - am not so far ahead of myself, although I do start early! I will be seeing the Senior Darlings & Grandchildren next week, so we will exchange gifts then. In accordance with my policy of decluttering, they are each getting summat ‘extra’, in the sense that I am lightening the load to be sorted when I Pop Orff. I gave The Lad & my lovely DiL Mr C’s Brandy decanter, wiv silver label, wot he was given when he retired for the first time. Brandy only ever leaves the bottle here - as Dunnock will attest, there is a problem with evaporation… 😉 Anyhoo Stepdaughter will get a rather nice crystal bowl which was Aged Aunt’s, & some Shanagarry pottery which was my Mother’s. It will match a jug she acquired from a Charity shop, which she loves. Liberates Pitcher for self Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 00:42 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9904 "2020-01-11T00:42:42Z")
Uuurrrrrkkkk! Wottan week The 9th was the 4th Anniversary of my Father’s death, & the 10th was the first Anniversary of my BiL being found dead. Brain Frying & Headache Shite in abundance… Liberates Pitcher Carinthis.xx ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 00:45 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9905 "2020-01-11T00:45:08Z")
[[[hugs]]], Darling Gxxx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 01:33 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9906 "2020-01-11T01:33:24Z")
Thank-you so much, Gus Steam is coming out of my ears ATM My Darlings know that I calculate the cost of everything to the last £1 I have never had favourites, & my Darlings know this The GrandDarlings know it too Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 09:08 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9907 "2020-01-11T09:08:47Z")
Dear chatelaine please take time to cosset YOU You are more loved than monetarily considerations Your darlings wouldn’t give a flying fart if you gave them a bucket of horse manure They just want you Anyway it’s swings and roundabouts as the price of stuff averages out over the years Big bear hugs ---
**Author:** ![ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/thatfunnymummy/32/8722_2.png) [@ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/ThatFunnyMummy)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 09:36 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9908 "2020-01-11T09:36:04Z")
> [@joe](#): > > I suppose one _could_ argue that it’s already happened, since the boat’s here rather than there I was pondering this, since ‘here’ and ‘there’ are relative, so where is ‘here’ and where is ‘there’? And it brought back a memory… Once, when Lou was very small (about 3), she was behaving oddly in the far corner of the room, as though she was trying to hide something. “What are you up to over there?” I asked. Her instant, and indignant, reply was “I’m **not** over there, I’m over here”. I couldn’t argue with that, really. ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 10:07 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9909 "2020-01-11T10:07:12Z")
Chidren’s logic is usually unarguably correct I hope memories like that give you a bit of comfort and a fond smile ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 11:00 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9910 "2020-01-11T11:00:19Z")
Bah humbug. But there’s still the # yardarm and now, as opposed to earlier, there’s even some _light_ grey in the sky. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 11:40 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9911 "2020-01-11T11:40:57Z")
> [@ThatFunnyMummy](#): > > Her instant, and indignant, reply No one does indignation quite as well as three-year-olds. They’re quite good at contempt, too. I recall getting mine out of the car on arrival at the seaside, first stop of course being a loo as is so often the case at that age (and at mine now, come to think of it). I was chatting away cheerfully and said “This is where X & Y used to come on holiday when they were your age”; this resulted in a freezing look and the swingeing pronouncement “Not on holidays in TOILET, Mummy”. I shrank corrected. ---
**Author:** ![Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/fanta/32/98_2.png) [@Fanta](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Fanta)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 11:52 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9912 "2020-01-11T11:52:28Z")
About the new cellar: I am out all day today, so can you lot keep it down to ninety posts? I’ll sort out a new one either late tonight,or tomorrow morning, and the premises are being dug as I type. ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 12:41 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9913 "2020-01-11T12:41:14Z")
Okay dear Fishy Might I put in a plea for my trapeze outside please? I would be forever grateful Rushes off to find receipts for exquisite fish food treats ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 12:41 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9914 "2020-01-11T12:41:51Z")
> [@3Wells](#): > > exquisite fish food treats You can’t go wrong with ants’ eggs, dere. ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 12:45 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9915 "2020-01-11T12:45:10Z")
But they can be improved with ease by making them even nicer like for instance turning them into scotch ant’s eggs ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 12:49 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9916 "2020-01-11T12:49:51Z")
Wiv real Scotch? ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 13:02 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9917 "2020-01-11T13:02:56Z")
Naturally One wants a happy fish ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 14:40 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9918 "2020-01-11T14:40:47Z")
I’m not going to arsk how you wrap ants eggs in Sossinge meat… Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 14:45 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9919 "2020-01-11T14:45:33Z")
It’s surprisingly easy. Acquire a) some sausage meat; and b) some ants including a queen. Introduce b to a and they will do it for you _for no extra charge_. ---
**Author:** ![HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/hedgesparrow/32/124_2.png) [@HedgeSparrow](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/HedgeSparrow)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 14:56 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9920 "2020-01-11T14:56:56Z")
Then c) an hungry Fishie to clear up the mess. (Meanwhile I am taking advantage of Absence of Fish to have a black-pudding-feast.) ---
**Author:** ![ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/thatfunnymummy/32/8722_2.png) [@ThatFunnyMummy](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/ThatFunnyMummy)\ **Post date:** [11 January 2020 15:57 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735/9921 "2020-01-11T15:57:25Z")
Aha! I just had a pork & black pudding sausage for lunch. And a pork & garlic sausage. And a pork, Jack Daniels & honey sausage. And mash and onion gravy. The pub was having a sausage festival - **eighteen** different sausages to choose from. I drew the line at pork & kipper sausages though. Somehow, just didn’t sound right to me. [Previous page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735.md?page=495) [Next page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-cower-in-the-cellar/1735.md?page=497)