# So, who wants to help ... to rattle on in the cellar? **URL:** \ **Category:** Not The Archers\ **Created:** [4 May 2018 09:25 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089 "2018-05-04T09:25:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 368
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 16:20 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7343 "2019-02-06T16:20:30Z")
Don’t underestimate the effect of that constant noise on neighbours… > **[Michael Ferris jailed for five years over death of Anthony O’Mahony](https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/criminal-court/michael-ferris-jailed-for-five-years-over-death-of-anthony-o-mahony-1.3718312)** > > Kerry farmer drove prongs of teleporter into neighbour in row over bird-scarer ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 16:27 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7344 "2019-02-06T16:27:59Z")
Caw! That’s one mean looking Corvid, Hedgers. Bet that’s not afraid of no Bird Scarer. Or Farmer, for that matter. Stab his eyes out, more like… Stoppit, bee. We had a chilly walk, this afternoon, and came across the following shrub because of its glorious honey scent. ![image](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/9/9f7b0b38b89d15d3a8dbf7f0e08bdca6f9a07992.jpg) ‘Sarcococca Confusa’ itizz and it took us ages to locate the source of that wonderful fragrance. Lifted the spirits, it did. Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 16:34 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7345 "2019-02-06T16:34:20Z")
Oh, my word. I am not going to use Corvids or teleporters (wot the heck are they, in RL?) to cause injury or erm worse to my lovely neighbour. But, those Bird Scarers are **really** aggravating. Thanks, joe, for reining in the beely imagination. Gin? Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 19:17 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7346 "2019-02-06T19:17:00Z")
> [@soobee](#): > > teleporters (wot the heck are they, in RL?) Basically a combination of a JCB and a forklift. Definitely _not_ something you’d want ramming your car—and certainly not when you were in it: > **[Telescopic handler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telescopic_handler)** > > A telescopic handler, also called a lull, telehandler, teleporter, reach forklift, or zoom boom, is a machine widely used in agriculture and industry. It is somewhat like a forklift but has a boom (telescopic cylinder), making it more a crane than a forklift, with the increased versatility of a single telescopic boom that can extend forwards and upwards from the vehicle. The boom can be fitted with different attachments, such as a bucket, pallet forks, muck grab, or winch. > In industry, the most ... ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 19:32 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7347 "2019-02-06T19:32:35Z")
Ah,yes, the pallet forks…stoppit, bee. Thing izz - I am very supportive of farmers in general. I truly believe that our local arable farmer has a right to protect his crops. I understand those around me who have sold (fairly non-productive) land for house-building. But, the horrible noise pollution of the bird scarers, added to the ever present _beep-beep-beep_ of the construction machinery that never seems to go forward, the glore and the ever-filthy car (which Mr Bee says izz driving him mad) izz muddying my rose-tinted speczz. Does anyone have a portion of gin, forra bee? Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 19:51 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7348 "2019-02-06T19:51:26Z")
Have a Pitcher, Soo Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 20:00 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7349 "2019-02-06T20:00:39Z")
Glug, and thankee, Carinthia. All izz quiet, so I’ll take my Pitcher and book into the Library. Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 20:23 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7350 "2019-02-06T20:23:00Z")
Provides Noo Pitcher Inna Discreet Manner Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:11 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7351 "2019-02-06T22:11:57Z")
Where’s Gus? Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:13 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7352 "2019-02-06T22:13:56Z")
Being a Sentient Nano-Smog ? Hope she’s ok Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:18 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7353 "2019-02-06T22:18:08Z")
> [@Carinthia](#): > > Being a Sentient Nano-Smog ? Does that involve singing about hedgehogs? ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:18 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7354 "2019-02-06T22:18:10Z")
I hope I haven’t put Gus off by adopting a Solar Death-Ray. It’s a worry, frankly. Yer bee may have to go to bed. Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/carinthia/32/6542_2.png) [@Carinthia](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Carinthia)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:20 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7355 "2019-02-06T22:20:50Z")
We’ll try & lure her wiv Gin… 🍸 Carinthia.xx ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:23 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7356 "2019-02-06T22:23:02Z")
Good plan, Carinthia. I have to go to bed, as Florrie’s Funeral will happen tomorrow and I must look smart. Soo xx ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:26 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7357 "2019-02-06T22:26:36Z")
I had me head in the understair cupboard. As a suicide method, it lacks a certain something, that something being efficacy. On the other hand I found some virgin dusters (notta lot of call for them hereabouts) and some forgotten tinsel. ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:29 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7358 "2019-02-06T22:29:59Z")
> [@joe](#): > > a combination of a JCB and a forklift. As featured in the LL Halloween Disaster. Which could have been **so** much better, given the available kit. ---
**Author:** ![soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/soobee/32/43_2.png) [@soobee](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/soobee)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:32 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7359 "2019-02-06T22:32:39Z")
I liked your post - what am I saying, Gus? Prolly just hey and well met xx. Soo zzzzzzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/joe/32/126_2.png) [@joe](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/joe)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 22:44 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7360 "2019-02-06T22:44:57Z")
> [@Gus](#): > > As featured in the LL Halloween Disaster. Which could have been **so** much better, given the available kit. Then again, the old ways are often the best… ![image](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/uploads/default/original/2X/4/4dcf18014531354a4f36ded871f0657f2a4a704d.png) ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/gus/32/11_2.png) [@Gus](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 23:00 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7361 "2019-02-06T23:00:17Z")
> [@Carinthia](#): > > Being a Sentient Nano-Smog That too, Dahlink: I was multitasking. But unaccountably not singing the Hedgehog Song. Gxx ---
**Author:** ![3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/user_avatar/discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/3wells/32/1521_2.png) [@3Wells](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/u/3Wells)\ **Post date:** [6 February 2019 23:08 UTC](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089/7362 "2019-02-06T23:08:38Z")
Perhaps you were humming about what is on the end of a wizard’s staff Gus? [Previous page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089.md?page=367) [Next page](https://discussion.ambridgereporter.org.uk/t/so-who-wants-to-help-to-rattle-on-in-the-cellar/1089.md?page=369)