So, who wants to help ... to rattle on in the cellar?


And DD Dogs need no oiling and seldom jam and whirr…


As I say at the beginning of my Teadrinkers Anonymous
meetings … " I am Armitage Shanks … & I am a tea drinker".

I can drink coffee & do quite like it, but, once the kettle is boiling & I go to my cupboard I turn to the tea caddies.

In those infernal coffee houses dotted around our high street I do not have tea as they appear incapable of using actual, y’know, BOILING water. Some even present you with a cup of hot water and an unopened tea-bag. I may as well be in America if they’re so determined to ruin the experience.

Earl Grey is my morning tipple. Otherwise Ceylon, Darjeeling, Assam, Oolong … or when in the mood Lapsang Soochong. Bags usually, for convenience, but leaf when in the mood.

No longer do I use Twinnings for Earl Grey. They changed to flavour in a fit of arrogance about 8 years ago & the new one was simply a way of making water a bit messed up. There was a public outcry & Twinning tried to defend its decision in a large, but doomed, PR campaign. I was told “… over time I would get used to the new flavour”. Red rag to a bull that was.

Occasionally, in hotels usually, I’ve retried it. It’s still undrinkable dishwater. I know their sales dropped by 40% in the early days. I wonder if they ever picked up.


It’s remarkable how many companies are unwilling to learn the lesson of New Coke.

Personally I came to tea via green tea and gunpowder, so my tastes are just Odd.



Bacon butties ready folk

Loaves just out of the oven and butter softened in readiness



I like it

I saw one T shirt on a young lady at a rally which proclaimed

“I need clothes not uplifting phrases”


Heard recently in these parts:

“If you think you’re going to drag me out of bed, Dog, you have another think coming.”

“You are using the entire dog. I am only using one biceps.”


Do fish have biceps?


This sparrer does. Grr snarl bark. (I am learning a furrin language.)


The Bird has not yet mastered Very Basic DDD: “Peep?”


Sparrers beaks are the wrong shape to speak Dog


There is a distressing tendency to revert to tseep, it’s true. But tseep is universally understood really.


I understand fluent tseep

And some of the sparrers round here are rather crude at this time of year


A leopard has just ambushed yon Bull as the Bull was taking the parrot’s food dish out and said leopard is now crunching on trhe parrot food with gusto

What do you do with a leopard who likes parrot food?


If one TSEEPS loudly and slowly enough, they catch on eventually

Grass it up to the parrot?


That Dog thinks the pellets for the goldfish smell heavenly.

So do I.


A snare and a delusion, I reckon.

The cheese-flavour Dreamies (essentially crack for cats) taste pretty disgusting, I can confirm. And dog chocolate’s quite disappointing too.


DDD eats the goldfish-food, given half a chance.

Since she has once more given up eating her food, it’s about all she is eating today.

Dog chocolate tastes to me of soap.


Drat. Gravy?


With gravy. She drank a lot of water instead and went away again.

And that is annoying because with juice on it, kibble won’t keep the way it does when dry.