…gets bitten by Shelob or Webster or whatever her name is! That would serve the stupid dolt right! I can just imagine him attempting to dance the tarantella to ward off the effects, and Profesewer Jimus shouting words of encouragement (in Latin, of course) whilst Alistair pretends that he can’t remember exactly what the antidote might be!
I just looked it up:
(1)Wash the site with soap and water to minimize the chance of infection…
Oh dear, Jazzer, looks like you’re shit out of luck!