Yeah, so of **course** Robin Fairbrother


had the family christening gown lying about ready to his hand, and furthermore it fitted eight-month-old Rosie perfectly.

In a pig’s eye.


It’s like the quern that grinds out whatever you want, but it only grinds out what the scripties want.


I didn’t believe it either. Not sure which is more ridiculous, that or Peggy firing Emma, saying Kate will do the cleaning from now on.


The thing will quite likey be walking in a matter of weeks, after all


It already speaks better than Henry.


I have made many a Christening Gown in my time, including 4 for Austrian babies. They tend not to travel in their gowns , as there is a specific part of the service when it is put on them, or at least draped over them*. I always leave the back open, & provide loose ties, so that they can be dressed over their Festive GroBags

It works a treat

*In many churches there , there is a white Christening Gown laid on the altar, so that those who don’t have Fambly Robes can still have the use of a ‘proper’ gown. One I made is kept at a church up the road, as the ‘loan gown’ was yellowed & nasty.

The Nottingham Lace gown I made for for the Sexy Strasse Babies has been used in Lisbon & Austria

I agree with you, Fishy

That gown would not have fitted Rosie



Nothing anyone has said, but am musing on the logistics of introducing young piranhas (or microsharks) to fonts.
Anyone with information/experience, please advise.

OK, I concede it could be a waste of seamstressry in very rare instances. But let us not be deterred by mere sentiment when so much is at stake.


Well, That Fish would be the expert. I can tell you that Satanic Piranha don’t do well in Holy Water.

If they’re well enough trained, they ought to be able to eat round the gown…


They carved out territory with the moths, years back.


I have a feeling that in most CofE churches there is no water kept in the font; instead, it is blessed in a bucket (all right, a ewer or to you and me a jug) and poured in for the ceremony, then allowed to drain out into the earth.

When my granddaughter was baptised aboard ship, the water from the font (which was not usually a font, nor kept on the aircraft deck, but was the ship’s bell) was thrown into the harbour afterwards.

So piranha wouldn’t live very long in a font. You would have to insert them during the service. Then they could take the vicar’s hand off, though they wouldn’t get a decent chance at the baby, which is held out of the way and sloshed rather than immersed.


Well, once the hand’s off the baby-holding will become markedly less effective.

We do need to consider the piranha’s escape route.


A water-slide into a bath on a skateboard?


Words to live by, I feel.

Umph. Meant to say, them piranha is quick, so don’t entirely despair


A bit of tactical distraction wouldn’t go amiss. Wait till the spawn is over the font, then set off some car alarms or summat.

(I know a way of setting off lots of car alarms at once. Teeheehee.)


Quite a substantial meal in the present case.

Have we wandered into an episode of Last of the Summer Wine?


I never saw it, so probably not.


If you’re going to have fish rampaging through a church, surely they need to come out of a gargoyle at some point?


Lurking in a tank at the top of the tower and paragliding into the font at the critical moment via the gargoyle?


If there’s a legitimate question over whether it’s an act of terrorism or a performance art piece, I reckon you’ve got it just about right.