Tobeeee (for it is he!): “Alan!”
Bunter (Gawd Help Us All): “Tobeeeeeeee!” (…greedily eyes 1/2 eaten parstee, drools of saliva dripping from his jowls…
Tobeeee (wipes crumbs from face with (used) baybee-wipe (how singularly appropriate)), and rapidly attempts to hide half-eaten parstee in elephant’s foot umbrella stand): “…er, um - how’s God boverin’ these days, Rev?”
(cont. on p.94)
It was a shocking scene really, because the vicar has no business going door-to-door touting for custom!
Could’ve been worse—is there an undertaker in the village?
Actually, what they really need is a branch of Dignitas.
…which reminds me that everyone (…including the SWs) seems to have forgotten about the Green¹ Burial Ground (…just sayin’)
¹or gangreen (see recent thread)
Eh, he’s a traditionalist.
- Murder £500
- Rape £300
- Theft £200
- Theft from the Church £600
- Disrespecting an Archer £800
…but no charge for dealing with left-overs (no questions asked) - special rates for seasonal provender (can arrange special deals for mince-pies even though currently out of season).
I’m suddenly confuserated! Is that list TVOA’s rates for performing or exercising? …and anyway, which diocese is he? (it’s stamped on the back of his neck!)
Need breakfast… …back later!