Best moments of 2017

I’d like to put together a sequence of audio clips, best moments from 2017.

But I don’t actually listen to the blessed thing, and my sense of humour is… odd.

So I invite you lot to propose moments that should be in such a sequence. At the end of the year I’ll arbitrarily pick the ones I like and compile them, then put the result up somewhere.

(Please note the date, approximate time into episode, and who’s saying what, because I am a lazy sparrer.)


Best moments from 2017… let me think… yer know what, Hedgers? I reckon they haven’t happened yet.
Gawd, I do hope not.

And when you say ‘best’, is that ‘we so ought to give ourselves an award for this’ best or an ‘that was satisfying in an evil kind of way’ best? Why am I even asking that?

I should hope so too.


I think Hedgers hopes for moments like “tea must be available at all times” and “I came late to avocados” and “Rob: What is going on in your head? Helen: Some salad?” and “in my day we didn’t have hormones.”

Absurd rather than stunningly brilliant.


Had I genuinely suspected otherwise, that would have been quite a relief, iyswim.

‘second-best tea service’, ‘she must have found [the broccoli] at the bottom of a glass’, etc.


To give an idea of what I’m thinking of, the one I put together a few years ago included:

“Look, the departure gate’s open. I’ve gotta go.”
“Take care, yeah. Byeeeeee.”

“Phoebe is my daughter. I gave birth to her and I’m her real mother.”
“Only when it suits you, dear.”

“Ow… [something] briefcase!”

“If I’m honest, Jess, there’s, um, something about avocadoes in December that I find… slightly disturbing.”

“And I don’t want to live in Bloody Ambridge.”


Love this idea, Hedgers! I’m thinking of Rob saying something like, ‘What, no kitchen knife handy this time, Helen?’

I’ll look it up. Shouldn’t be difficult. It was the day he kidnapped Jack.


Rob: (sarcastically) Oh, so you’re warning me. What will you do? Where’s the kitchen knife this time?

It’s at 1hr 8 min into the Feb 5 omnibus. I’m just disappointed he didn’t call her Little Miss Stabby.

Which was a bit rich seeing as he put the kitchen knife in her hand !!

She just got confuserated and used it in him instead of herself. Silly mare.

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