Chuckles McPillock

…is a thoroughly nasty piece of work. Adam is a posturing ponce and socially squeamish to a degree that is hard to credit in a man in his 50s. Justin is blethering on like a lovestruck teenage girl to a degree that is hard to credit in a man approaching his dotage*
And when will sodding, bloody Kirsty effing Miller learn to mind her own festering business? Gawd, she’s an interfering harpy.

Those who know me might be beginning to suspect that I thought tonight’s offering was both irritating and shite. And they would be right: as am I.

*based purely on voice


Ian really was behaving very badly tonight: point a it is none of his business, and point b he was being very unpleasant to Adam about something which is in no way either Adam’s fault or Adam’s business.

If Adam does tell Justin, what does Ian think will be the result?

Lilian will hate Adam, Justin will either hate or despise him, and Adam will gain precisely nothing, as won’t Ian.

As for Kirsty, I can’t think what she imagines is to anyone’s benefit in egging on a man who lives in Ambridge to become attached to a woman who lives in Romania or wherever it is, and will be going back there to her two daughters within the next month or so. What, as Lexi might ask, is point?


Is great tragic moment, as in best literature. Tearful parting at the airport. Then he pushes his way onto the plane and is shot with 5,794 bullets by over-eager security guards, and dies in her arms.


:point_up:️:point_up:️:point_up:️ … or, worse still, lives ??

How would he ever get through the x-ray machines at airports ?


Gawd, he was awful, wasn’t he? Nasty little dig at Adam about the Charlie kiss. He might trouble to ask himself which was worse, Adam and Charlie kissing or Helen blabbing to a man she well knew disliked them both very much indeed, with the consequence that the version Rob told to Ian was very far indeed from the truth.

You know, I can’t actually remember if Adam ever explained that only Jennifer knew about Pavel, not the entire village (until the trial) or that he was not having an affair with Charlie, though it was pretty darn close to one, what with all of Adam’s dithering about choosing between the two of them. An affair of the heart, certainly.


…and her hair and her trousers and her handbag and other passengers’ hair and in the carpet and in the crevices of the overhead storage lockers and the stewardesses shoes and on the top of the cabin and the windows and…

Who would ever have thought that Roy would have the opportunity to get about that much?


Do you think that Ian gave him a chance to explain the truth of the matter, or believed him if he did? I don’t think so: he is a judgemental little prude. And he would clearly rather think the worst of someone than consider any possibility of an innocent explanation for anything.


I don’t remember if we heard anything on air. The only thing that makes me think possibly Ian accepted Adam’s explanation was that he referred tonight to Adam ‘kissing’ Charlie. Otherwise, I’d agree with you. Whatever the case, he is certainly intending to make Adam pay forever, isn’t he?


Oh yes indeed. But then he has always been very careful to have the upper hand in that relationship: It has shown in his forcing Adam to apologise to Sid for Sid having hit him, for instance, and forcing Adam to accept that Ian was going to father a baby for Madds, to mention two examples that spring straight to mind.

How many sexual partners (gay or straight) would be happy for their partner to decide to have a baby with someone else, telling them to put up with it or not see them any more? Not many, I wouldn’t suppose.


I’ve always thought the decision for a couple to have a child requires two ‘yesses’ but only one ‘no’. Sad for the one who longs for a child, but how can you have children if one of you doesn’t want them?


Think of it as job creation, Janie dear. For murder squads and social workers and child psychologists and ‘something must be done’ columnists in the papers with the shorter words and such.
My recollection is that Operation Maddsprog involved her being impregnated by Ian, whether by the usual route, kitchen implement or the wonders of medical science, and her keeping the baby with Ian being a part-time father. Or have I got it wrong and her role was merely to drop the thing and hand it over to the Hot Tub Two?

PS, two yesses, one no: indeed


I don’t know, I wasn’t listening then. I suppose if the Maddsprog (love that!) was to live full time with Madds and Ian an occasional visitor that would be slightly different. What was Adam’s objection, then, if he wasn’t expected to be a parent to the brat? That it would take up too much of Ian’s time and not involve him? A bit like golf or gardening?

I remember Jane Austen having Lizzie slyly note that Charlotte was encouraging Mr Collins to spend as much time as possible in the garden, so I can see the upside. But then I don’t like Ian and I suppose we must conclude Adam does, though heaven knows why.


Madds had no significant other, so Ian was going to be expected to act as a father to the baby, and I think she planned to move so that she was living near him. Or perhaps that was just so that she could have the baby locally and Ian could be her birthing partner…

In June 2006 we had
"Ian finds Adam still rather unwilling to talk. They try to talk it through. Adam tries to point out that Ian will be two hours away from being a Dad. And what happens when Madds finds a new relationship. Ian doesn’t believe that he has any choice. He would be prepared to go to London to be with his child and if Adam is left behind so be it…“
"Adam returns home to find Ian moving out. There is no point in talking because Adam will not listen. In Adam’s eyes, Ian is making a big mistake; Madds and the kid will replace him as the most important person in Ian’s life. On the other hand, Ian sees an opportunity for the two of them, together, to have an amazing experience that will enrich their lives.”

Then she bogged off to Tunisia, and when she got back in September
"After a long wait, Madds turns up to talk to Ian. She is all into telling stories of her trip away. And then she admits, even though she wasn’t looking for it, she’s fallen in love - with Oz. So she’s changed her mind and so Ian isn’t part of the picture anymore. Madds thinks their plans were all just part of getting carried away in the heat of the moment but Ian is not impressed. Madds now wants to go ahead with a baby with her new lover and Ian tries to be brave but he isn’t too sure."

And I regret to say that my reaction was “serve him right!”

It led to 1st November:
“Turns out there was no Italian chef for Adam to meet. Ian had plotted it all to get Adam to go out for a special meal to thank him for being so good about Madds. And because he wants to propose…And, of course, Adam accepts.”

(all quotes Lowfield)


Sounds like Ian’s original plan was for there to be three in the marriage, four if you count the sprog. No, I don’t think I’d have been happy in Adam’s place. How to make someone feel left out!


What a ghastly pair they are. I hope they will be unhappy together for many years to come. Quietly.
Anyway, isn’t a large part of the fun of being gay that there is no danger of messy, noisy, expensive, tiresome babies? As well as not having to put up with an alien from gawd knows where* when one is feeling a trifle tetchy, of course

*members of the opposite sex can seem so at times,


You just wait until Mrs (Bridget) McClusky finds out about all of these tell-tales.