Well, I nearly slipped into one this evening - strewth that was dull. Had this little vision of poor Christine Michaels banging her head against the wall and sobbing ‘Bricks without straw, bricks without straw’.
But just conceivably possibly, Captain Dan is to meet Transit van or similar, wot with all the drive safely guff and both parents being back under the same roof. Not that it was massively signposted or anything, nooooo.
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I don’t think so, simply because they don’t want to kill off Archers (or the sons of Archers) lest they run out of them. Also we have had a death already this year.
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I only said a bloody coma!
It helps to read the above in a Michael Caine voice. Which one, you ask? Now don’t be silly.
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The time-lapse ventriloquism is impressive, Spadger.
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They did seem to mention “drive safe” one too many times. Also, what was the strange conversation Dan had to have with his wife about whether they should be together after he found out his parents were separating… I don’t remember the exact words… anyone else?
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Wotcher Kara, good to see you back.
La belle Dorothee is not Dan’s wife but his sweetheart and also - contestably - The Last Virgin of Borset, her having had a spare bed made up for her, much to Shula’s relief, when she came a-visiting.
Dan said something to the effect of - ach, you know I can’t remember how he couched it, but it was to the effect of needing to find out how he and Dorothy really felt about each other.
As in ‘oooh, nooo, my parents’ marriage has gone wrong, it must therefore have always been wrong, what is love, ‘tis not hereaf - oh, sorry - what is love, what does it all MEAN, and does Dorothy love me in an unthreatening undisappointing and still as yet unsatisfied sort of way or, twenty-seven years hence, will I find myself sleeping on Alastair’s sofa? Oh woe is me. Salute when you see me, damn you, I am the ranking office round here.’ ‘Here’ being a bunny sanctuary.
Gah!
Not that I’m irritated or anything, you understand.
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Five star reply, thank you. Some historic blanks still need to be filled in for me.
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Well I’m glad you liked it, dere, because I feel a sight better for it 
He’s not even a disgrace to the army, just a mild embarrassment. Twonk.
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I was disappointed by how out of breath he seemed after the piglet underfoot debacle.
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He hadn’t been involved in chasing the perpetually escaping pigs of Ambridge, he just happened to be running by. No doubt with full pack and suchlike, plus hairshirt if he is his mother’s son. So we have no measure of his fitness compared to that of a greased pig, but I know where the smart money would go.
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Didn’t notice Dan had a lisp…
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Thank you for de-baffling me. That’th not a lithp, though, it’th a speech impediment by another name, one which currently eludes me. But a lovely lass I worked with when the world was young had the ‘w’ for ‘r’ thing and once came round saying "would you like a dwink? And would you pwefer it with thugar or a thpeech impediment?"
Her wedding was the most fun one to which I have ever been. Involviing pigeons and Mars bars and some highly inappropriate music during the actual wedding bit…
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Not at the same time, I hope
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Rhotacism, apparently. Which is a bit of a bugger for any poor sod who suffers from it.
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Oh, no, nothing like that. We just had to feed the bride chocolate, urgently, while keeping the veil out of the way of stray melting cheap chocolate. Feeding her pigeons would have been silly, frankly. She needed her blood sugar upping pdq and pigeons take a while to digest. Also her husband wouldn’t have married her if she ate his darlings.
Had I not been thoroughly out of love with my escort by then anyway, I would have fallen so after him miaowing at the pigeons and not stopping when they threw him looks of pigeonly contempt. Have some self-respect, man!
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Woy does. So funnily I find myself wight out of pity.
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Also, I believe we never actually found out what she said - whether their feelings for each other are true - I think they’ve left it open for Dan to return as another bachelor in the village… if another is required!
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Oh no. I’ve just realised - if there was a crash - would that mean that after all that Shula has gone through to get her point heard it was simply a plot device to get her an Alastair back together again?! I’ve been rooting for Shula and her new single, happy life. They can’t make her go back now!
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