Daily Mail Weekend Magazine Archers Update June 10-15


#1

It’s Open Farm Sunday, a time when outsiders cross the mighty Am for a glimpse of the good life. And what a show Ambridge can put on! Jam, cheese, cakes, pigs, locals. Peer behind the facade, and what will you see?
You’ll see Brian seething as his fortune crumbles away, Shula preparing varying versions of events for the marriage mediator, and feckless Freddie packing his baggy for college, where Borsetshire’s finest will make a drugs swoop. Lynda and Lilian will be heading for a dog fight, and Josh will run his mouth off to a local journalist - who will reveal all in the Echo.
Our best advice to all visitors is, ‘Run for it now, before the dark forces currently controlling Ambridge pull you into their web’.

Thanks to Maggiesaes from ‘The Archers in Mustardland’ Board


#2

Can’t say I’m looking forward to any of that much. Or the SM fallout from the Freddie event.


#3

‘SM fallout?’ What be that?

Looks as though Pip’s nose might be out of joint if Josh is getting too much attention, how can that be bad?

Oh, and in the one-liners ‘Ruth suffers a crisis of confidence’. If it had been left at ‘Ruth suffers’ that would have been music to my ears but I greatly fear we will have a soppy scene with Dopey assuring her she’s as beautiful as ever (which may be true, if your description of her is anywhere close to the truth as I like to imagine it is).


#4

Sorry, Janie, ‘Social Media’.

One’s satisfaction at the Piply nose being out of joint is tempered by the likelihood of hearing both her and the Spotty Little Gobshite.
Very much fear you are right re Ruth.
Sick buckets at the ready, me hearties.

And you know my description of the earth and ill-favoured midget is spot-on.


#5

Mediation these days is not to go over events. Now that there is no legal aid for most divorces it is there to save the couple money by arranging a, more or less, amicable split.


#6

Dunno what word I intended, but it wasn’t ‘earth’.


#7

‘hirsute’? ‘wart-infested’? How about ‘bearded’?


#8

Warty, that was it. Well done!