Epitaph Prepared for A Neighbour


#1

…And Which Might Shortly Be Required

Here lies Polly-bleedin’-Anna
To whose skull I took a hammer
To determine, by trephining,
If that has a silver lining.

Hell, I need to change my plan:
No sooner was it settled than
I realised that Pollyanna
Has yet to return - my hammer.


#2

But Halleluia! And Hosanna!
I had quite overlooked - the Spanner!


#3

Did you have someone in particular in mind, or is this a general urge to commit mayhem? Nice verse, though…


#4

To what should be my great shame, I did have someone particular in mind and yes, she does still have my hammer. Or to be fair, one of my hammers.
She is a very good soul and a far better woman than I am and does not have to look for troubles of her own and I am exceedingly fond of her; but she will insist on twisting everything to accentuate a positive that sometimes just isn’t there, and I find it, occasionally, as this evening, infuriating.

I spend a fair amount of time fishing her out of minor practical crises. HImself would call her everything under the sun but nevertheless had a massively soft spot for her. I have to be careful, though, not to use his names for her children when talking to her ;- )