Help Needed, I'm Mystified

I’m sure the brains here can solve this one but I can’t.

A thread started elsewhere by Orkney Library has photos of books on the theme of ‘Elf on a Shelf’ (don’t ask why, I dunno).

eg:

and loads more, but this one has me stumped. What the hell is it?

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I cannot brain: I has the dumbs. Sorry.

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I don’t get any of them. What is “Elf on a Shelf”?

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Please don’t be sorry, I’m very relieved that I have company in the dumbdrums.

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I’m not sure where it came from, it’s just A Thing for some reason.

So, Plath in the Bath, Knight on the Wright, Twain on a Drain etc…

But I can’t do it with the last one!

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An abomination. Usually on ‘the’ shelf. Plenty of jeremaiads about the creepy little sod on mumsnet.

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Anne on the can? (They didn’t think that through, did they?)

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Oh, could be I suppose. I which case I just didn’t get it cos it’s so blasted weak. Huh!

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Ah, you beat me to it.

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I then went away to set up Plath in an Oven, but we don’t have any books here with her name on the cover.

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In one way, that is a Great Pity.

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I am slightly surprised that I don’t have Ariel somewhere; I had to buy it at one point.

Only I am a bit of a peasant, and much preferred Stevie Smith and Charles Causley.

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Apparently this one’s been doing the rounds a fair bit:

Screenshot 2021-12-23 at 23.28.34

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Quite right too.

Two ethnologists up with the Sioux…

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Eeeek!

Health warning prior to viewing photos of a clown in a punt

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Slightly off-topic but: I presume you know why the pre-Euro Irish currency is known as the “punt”? … because it rhymes with “banker” …

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In Ireland, can you wank with the Batnest? It’s a step up from barking with Banclays.

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The Wetmonster is purely Notional. And if you don’t believe me, ask Norman Greenfly…

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