"How stupid are you?"

Very good question, and at long last someone has asked it of Clarrie.

Various thoughts, in no particular order.
Who in the seven hells does Clarrie think she is? If the child’s parent has said “No contact with so&so’” then you don’t bloody well leave them with so&so. A nanny, au pair or childminder could and would be sacked for that.
Do any of the SWs ever encounter an actual child? The pestilential mite was, reportedly ‘hungry and getting upset’. On a supermarket run with its grandmother. The thing is rising six, not just turned two. And if she really was sooo hungry that she couldn’t bear an hour’s delay - they were in the supermarket bleedin’ carpark. Could Clarrie not go and get the shining little wit a sandwich or some Monster Munch (The Nietzschian abyss of snacks) or a Mars bar or something? And then change to the emergency tyre to go to RipOffsRUs and then drive the PLM back to where she was expected to be, on the understanding that if there was One More Squeak out of her, it would be bread and water and early bed for a fortnight and Bad Things would happen to Peppa Pig?

We probably aren’t going to be treated to Will shooting first Emma, in the throat, and then Clarrie in the wobbling wattles that mask much of hers, and that is a great pity.

If Will doesn’t shoot a) himself; and b) other deserving targets (and I have a horrible feeling he won’t), then the best thing he could do would be to find a job elsewhere and decamp with the sickly and tedious Mite and have nothing to do with any of his f***tard family ever again.

All credit to Poppy for slashing grandma’s tyre, though.


I have been saying this for years. (And his wife would still be alive.) For a long time there was absolutely nothing to keep him in the area (all his family constantly being hateful to him) and every reason to go, but he didn’t.

I rather lost sympathy with him then, much as I did when Fallon shifted from “trying to make a go of music, getting out of this hellhole” to “droopy object of romantic interest”.

Probably, like me, at a distance when they mis-time their supermarket runs.


That—by a short head—was the most bizarre aspect of all this. There was absolutely no reason not to carry on with the original plan; the spare would have been fine to get them home and head out later—or next day—to get it changed. More nonsense to create shoutiness.

Incidentally, am I alone in thinking OldNewClarrie’s actor is dire? The scene with Bev and Will was presumably supposed to be “high drama”, but with Clarrie’s ridiculous accent it sounded more like a bad Punch & Judy show.


Clarrie has always thought that she knew better than Will about any- and everything, and has always ignored anything he said he wanted in favour of literally anyone else at all.

This was just in keeping with her usual behaviour.


Every silver lining has its cloud…


No, dere. Far from it.