Interim Synopses July 2022

Gus has kindly volunteered to do this chore while I am on holiday, much thanks to her.

Please can people not post too much here, so that the synopses themselves are easily found? Thanks.

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Noses: Steph’s grows, while Lynda cuts her own off to spite the fete and Tom and Helen plot to send noxious substances through the post

Characters: Tom, Helen, Vince, Steph, Lynda, Oliver, Susan
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director: Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Tom puts the finishing touches to Lynda’s special birthday veg box - she turns 75 on Friday - Helen says that she has the drive of a twenty-year-old. What is it with all the older women she knows having so much more energy than she does? Look at Pat, taking up cricket… Might she be jealous about Natasha’s mum? Tom admits everything was arranged a while ago but that they had been putting off mentioning it to Pat. They agree that it will be nice to get to know Natasha’s mum (danced wildly at the wedding, makes a great beef pie) better.
They then discuss marketing strategies for cheese-tasting boxes. After their parents’ pioneering, it’s their turn to be bold and adventurous. Borsetshire Blue pairs well with other robust flavours, apparently, including charcoal crackers, honey, figs and pears. Maybe the review section on the projected website could invite tasting notes from customers and build a real artisan vocabulary around cheese. At least they both acknowledge that their competitors are already savvy social-media-wise.

Vince is ending a call to Beth. Steph hopes she’s OK, and Vince says he knows she’s not - and if Steph’s calls and messages are blocked, well, what does she expect? Switching to wheedle mode, Steph reminisces about the time Vince swapped his own favourite, coq au vin blanc, for the fish complete with head which the young Steph had ordered to show off in front of her father’s friends. She says she’ll cook the chicken for him tonight - it will be better than a cold pasty and she’s so grateful he is letting her stay. She knows she’s let him and Beth down but promises to make up for it. Vince points out that maybe Beth needs to hear that from Steph herself, without BS and bluster.

Lynda pronounces herself happy to be distracted from her dead-heading by Tom’s spring onions. She is touched when she learns there are some birthday goodies included. Oliver wambles up, jetlagged after returning from visiting his daughter. There is something he wants to discuss with Lynda in advance of the fete committee meeting, but Lynda refuses to listen and suggest he arrive earlier for the meeting instead. Lynda admits to Tom that she is curious but Oliver doesn’t need to know that. She is still bitter about the sudden closure of Grey Gables.

Helen picks Susan’s brain about ways of sending fresh food. Susan is not encouraging either about the complexities and expense of the postal system or the reliability of couriers - and there’s nothing worse than cheese going back to sweat in some hot depot. She knows all about failed deliveries. This all needs more thought, says Helen in a sudden moment of clarity. Susan assures her postage and packing is a complicated business needing an experienced hand.

Although Steph confesses the white wine sauce was out of a packet, Vince says the meal she prepared was delicious. Vince suggests Steph tell Beth straight that she is not proud of herself: Beth needs to hear the truth. Steph denies having had feelings for Ben, then or now, but goes on to say he was always a bit flirty with her. He pressed Beth to let her stay, for instance. Was that not just him being nice, Vince asks.

Steph asserts that it was all innocent until the night of the party. When Vince questions her, she goes on to misrepresent the conversation with Ben after the party: he told her that the man who would really want her was right in front of her. Vince asks if that was really what Ben said and Steph prevaricates before doubling down. Vince then says he’ll get Beth over on her Wednesday day off: it might be Steph’s last chance to set things right.

While waiting for Oliver, who is late, Susan says Clara the Combine would be a big draw - Martha has all the books - but Lynda points out they need people willing to pay for their pitches rather than to be spending money on attractions; Will is booking a stall for his pottery, and the Gleeson twins have also paid up. Oliver arrives and Susan snipes about his treatment of Tracy. He says he is determined to face the future positively and offers to pay for the entire fete to signal that he is not abandoning the village or the people in it: that would remove budgetary restrictions and allow for a little magic. With a sniff, Lynda spurns his offer; she would like to think they manage to bring a bit of magic to Ambridge every year. Susan is in less of a hurry to turn down the Sterling gold, but Lynda reiterates that it is a definite no; and now maybe they should move on.
[Summarised by Gus, who has no idea how CG stands it]

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5 July 2022

Will spills the beans, Tracy spots a spillage, and Lynda decides to let Oliver pay after all

Characters: Jazzer, Tracy, Will, Lynda, Oliver, Gemma
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director: Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jazzer tells Tracy to leave the washing up and offers her toast, but she’s too nervous: it’s her first day at the chicken factory. She won’t be getting stuck in right away, though; today is induction and she starts properly tomorrow. Jazzer says he’s heard nothing good about the place but Tracy points out the pay is better than cleaning and anyway she’s not getting enough shifts. Although Jazzer had an extra day at Berrow, Tracy explains they can’t live on ifs and maybes and it’s not as if she’s doing this for extras: they need the money just to get by. What about Emma’s frostbite, Jazzer asks, but Tracy says it was only nearly frostbite. She and Jazzer are a team and she can either feel sorry for herself or roll up her sleeves and get on with it.

Will has come to see Lynda, and she assumes he wants to know about the early-bird rental deal for stalls, one of the perks of which is a free cup of tea from the WI: all the details are in the welcome pack and she will drop one round to him later. Will mutters that he’s heard about the tensions with the WI from Ian. The subject shifts to ceramics and Lynda learns that Will’s teacher says he has a very original style; he goes on to confide that he often sees the designs for his pieces in dreams, which is meat and drink to Lynda, who launches into burble about the subconscious released from its prison and how the subliminal dream world fuels creative endeavour…
Will muses that maybe that is what his teacher means by ‘the essence of an idea’ - but the stall wasn’t his only reason for dropping by: he wanted to talk about Oliver. This provokes a predictably frigid reaction from Lynda.

Shift supervisor Gemma is showing Tracy round the chicken plant, which is busy and noisy: 150 people work there and they have a processing target of two million birds per month. Tracy is to be a front-end operative, which Gemma explains is basically packing and stacking. Tracy enquires about the back end: well, that’s the chambers which are filled with CO2 to - erm, to put the birds to sleep is the nice way of putting it, according to Gemma. For the production line, a white coat, wellie-boots and hairnet are provided and Tracy is advised to wear her own thermals as Gemma doesn’t want her fainting. And there’s no need for Tracy to look so scared: Marcus will show her the ropes tomorrow and according to Gemma, he’s lovely. But now it’s time to visit the back end - specifically the rooms where the birds are hung for plucking. Tracy asks about the possibility of extra shifts, and Gemma says that is the kind of question she likes.

Will takes a call from Oliver and tells him not to go to any trouble on his behalf, but Oliver feels that if he isn’t going to be permitted to fund the fete, then knocking up a few shelves for Will’s pottery stall is the least he can do. Will then tells Lynda how disappointed Oliver was to have been turned down. Lynda admires Will’s loyalty, but she cannot get over how Oliver handled the hotel closure. Will tells her that, come the end, Oliver was paying the hotel staff out of his own pocket: selling up was genuinely his only option. While Lynda is somewhat mollified, she nonetheless feels the need to go on about how it made her feel when the staff who risked their lives on the day of the explosion, who saved her and who kept her going, leading her out of the darkness with phone calls, gifts, encouragement and love [the more fool them, frankly. Gus.] were let go. The reopening of Grey Gables was a triumph for them all, including Blake [ngggh? Gus.] and now it feels as if Philip Moss has won. Will is not bamboozled and tells Lynda that yes, it nearly destroyed Oliver too, and that he really did have no choice.

The last stop on the chicken factory guided tour is the break room, which Gemma says Tracy can thank Brexit for: they are having such trouble retaining staff that it even has colourful cushions. Paddy will be taking Tracy through the rotas and stations on the production line, Gemma says, but Tracy breaks in saying she has a question about health and safety. Gemma approvingly notes that Tracy is on the ball and explains that, back in her office, Tracy will need to watch a short H&S film and do an online test on procedures, but not to worry: she can’t fail. Tracy says her question was actually about the puddle she noticed on the floor back there. Instantly defensive, Gemma asserts that her shift is alway white-hot on procedures and that the spillage must have been yellow-signed… Seeing an opening for Brand Horrobin, Tracy starts to tell Gemma how she too was zealous about H&S at Grey Gables; Gemma interrupts, asking whether that was the hotel which was blown up. When Tracy confirms that it was, Gemma says that in that case, she won’t be taking any lessons in health and safety from someone whose workplace actually exploded.

At Grange Farm, Oliver is cutting wood for the shelving when Lynda appears. Oliver assumes she has come to view the pottery, and says that there is beauty to be found in the strangest things. No, says Lynda, she is not there to see Will - it’s Oliver she needs to talk to. She tells him she now understands that the Grey Gables situation was complicated; Oliver says he would have kept it open if he could… Lynda says her feeling have less to do with the closure as such and sprang more from her emotional attachment to the hotel and all it stood for. Oliver assures her that he has certainly not taken it lightly: the staff were friends, family, sometimes even his saviours, and his offer to fund the fete is, in his estimation, pitiful in comparison with what people have given him. The net result is Lynda conceding that since he is a man the village can love and respect, ‘yes please’ to the funding for the fete. It will be the best fete ever and they will aim to double Oliver’s investment through takings and fees, for the benefit of Ukrainian refugees. It looks as if Susan will have her Clara the Combine after all but there is so much work to be done, says Lynda in martyred fashion.

Will emerges with some of his ‘contemporary ceramics’ and Lynda asks whether they are finished; Oliver explains that it takes time to adjust… Patronisingly, Lynda tells Will she admires his effort.

A knackered Tracy is telling Jazzer about her induction: Paddy is a sweetheart but no rival for Jazzer, while Gemma seems glad to have her on the team. Jazzer offers to lend her his winter pig socks for tomorrow; meanwhile, he’s got the dinner on. Tracy says she will eat anything except chicken, after all those dead, plucked, headless birds… Turns out it’s nuggets, chips and beans, but Jazzer gallantly offers to take Tracy’s share of the nuggets off her hands before saying maybe the chicken factory won’t be so bad after all.

[Summarised by Gus]

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6 July 2022

Tough love and a tough boss; yellow signage for Casa Casey, please.

Characters: Vince, Steph, Tracy, Jazzer, Jim, Gemma, Beth
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director: Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Vince says she’s up early, Steph explains she couldn’t sleep for thinking about how to get things straight. Vince enquires what things exactly: you know, says Steph vaguely, ‘sisters before misters’. Vince tells her Beth will be there some time in the afternoon. Steph thanks him for persuading Beth to come, and he tells her meaningly that one thing he has learned, partly from how he was with Elizabeth at the beginning, is that people have to own up to their mistakes: trying how much you can get away with is not a good way to be, because something will come back and bite you at some point, and the truth will always out.

At the Tea Room, Tracy tells Jim it is sweet of him to be treating her and Jazzer to a celebratory brunch before their first shift. After addressing Tracy as ‘hen’, it dawns on Jazzer that he might have to come up with another pet name. Tracy is upbeat, explaining that she already has ideas, having noticed during her time with Paddy yesterday that the way they do some things seems clunky: in fact, she left a list of thoughts on Gemma’s desk, wanting to show that she intends to do the thing properly and is a team player. Jazzer reckons she’s management material, possibly even a candidate for instant promotion, and Jim adds that Oliver always spoke very highly of her. Tracy floats the possibility of a move to the more highly-paid area of filleting and Jim says he can see her as a butcher. Moving on from this slightly dubious compliment, Tracy mentions that, with Brad having some summer work at Grange Farm, everything is looking good. Then Tracy’s phone rings; it’s Gemma, who wants her to pop in for a chat before her shift. Jazzer reckons Gemma must have liked her ideas.

At Casa Casey, Steph is telling Beth she was worried she would never speak to her again; Vince assures Beth that they are both just glad she came over. Beth isn’t quite sure why she agreed to, it having been hard enough to listen to Steph’s excuses first time round. Steph takes refuge in tearful self-recrimination: she’s sorry from the bottom of her heart, and has been selfish and spoilt, at which point Vince observes that at last they are getting somewhere - although possibly not to the actual truth, as his next comment makes clear. He tells Steph he loves her dearly - she’s his daughter - but he is not buying her story: there are just too many discrepancies. Crying harder now, Steph confesses: she thought Ben was flirting with her, thought he fancied her, and so she leaned in - but she was wrong. He didn’t fancy her at all. No, it was she who kissed him. Beth wants to know if Ben kissed back but Steph says no, and that he asked her to stop but she kissed him again, and that is when Beth walked in. In fact, Ben never actively kissed Steph at all. So why, wails Beth, did you blame him? She’s spent the last week miserable: why did Steph lie? Because I felt stupid and ugly, says Steph, claiming she never wanted to split them up: she just didn’t know how to undo all her lies.

In Gemma’s office, Tracy says she learned from Paddy how Gemma moved up through the ranks and she would like to think that could be her in a few years. She’d not been sure whether to change before this chat, but one of her colleagues put her straight: no one goes anywhere within the factory without full protective gear. Drily, Gemma informs Tracy that new safety signs have already been made after the mistake she spotted yesterday and Tracy, who is not reading the room, asks whether Gemma has read her list yet: a fresh pair of eyes can sometimes see short-cuts… Gemma, who has read it, tells Tracy that the plant works to tight deadlines using efficient models, most of which Gemma designed herself, whereas Tracy hasn’t yet put in five minutes’ real work there. What you do is concentrate on the task in front of you and on following the rules. She’s moving Tracy to the back end - ‘butt end’, Tracy interjects helpfully - for this shift: they often put their older workers there. All Gemma wants from Tracy is total commitment and no chatter. Subdued, Tracy says she’ll just pop to the loo, but Gemma says her break is already over, then relents - as long as Tracy is quick about it.

Beth doesn’t want to see or hear from Steph ever again: Steph could have owned up at the time but she made Beth think Ben was a cheat an a liar. With the waterworks still going, Steph says she’s always been jealous: ‘I need help, Dad!’. No, she needs space to grow up, Vince tells her, and to work out the next steps by herself. So she will have to move out, which will give Vince the time and space he needs to work out how he went so wrong with her. Steph pleads with him, claiming she can change; Vince reckons maybe she can if he’s no longer treating her like a princess, and he hopes she will look back and thank him for this one day. Meanwhile, he will transfer her some cash, and after that she’s on her own and will need to find a proper job like other people have to. This is his fault, not Steph’s, Vince says, since he has always given in before when she cried her eyes out. Now she has a new start: after nearly 30 years, it’s only fair he puts Beth first for a change.

Jazzer has co-opted Jim to make up a welcoming committee for Tracy after her first shift. When the ‘working girl’ - ‘working woman’, Jim corrects him - arrives, she tells them it went ok, fine, more than fine in fact: the team are lovely and Gemma talked about Tracy’s ideas; but she’s tired, and wants to go and shower off the chicken slime. Jim makes his excuses and leaves to advise Alistair on what to wear to the Vet Awards do tomorrow evening. Tracy wishes Denise luck and Jim reciprocates for Tracy’s next shift. This will begin at 6am, which means being up at 4:30am but never mind: she’ll have a lovely lie-in on Saturday.

Beth still can’t believe Vince kicked Steph out, but he explains it was time for some tough love and adds sadly that, no matter how much you try as a dad, you can’t get everything right. In her usual cheerful style, Beth then starts lamenting Steph being on her own and wonders how she will cope, as she was pretty messed up. She’s tried ringing Ben: she knows he is on the wards but thought he might get back to her during his break; he hasn’t. Vince suggests she go to Brookfield tomorrow after work and says Ben will understand when she explains. Beth isn’t sure she would in his place: what if she’s lost him for good?
[Summarised by Gus ]

Cheer up, Trace - at least one person had a worse day at work today than you did :wink:

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7 July 2022
Hearts are mended and a zip is broken

Characters: Josh, Beth, Alistair, Denise, Ben, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director: Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Josh asks Beth what she thinks she’s doing at Brookfield, and she says she’s come to see Ben, if he’s there. She’s messaged him but he didn’t reply. Josh tells her that would be because he’s not interested, not after the way Beth has treated him: Ben thought she was brilliant, they all did: but it turns out they were wrong. Beth says she feels terrible, and stupid and Steph has told her what really happened and she wants to say sorry, and a text won’t be enough… Josh says that personally he wouldn’t give her or Steph the time of day. Beth says she’ll stay all night if she must, but she has to see Ben. Josh reluctantly agrees to go and tell Ben Beth is there, adding that if his brother has any sense, he will tell her to do one.

Alistair and Denise are complimenting each other on their outfits for the Vet Awards night. Alistair claims to be looking forward to the canapés. Denise is feeling nervous, but Alistair thinks she will win, particularly with Jakob’s endorsement. Denise tells him not to tempt fate but relaxes a little as they laugh about the things Jakob was persuaded not to include. Then Alistair tells Denise her zip has ‘done that teeth thing’ and she asks him to ease it down slowly and then, when it sticks, suggests giving it a good yank; Alistair complies, and the zip breaks completely. Denise rules out wearing her uniform and says she could just not go, but Alistair won’t hear of it: they don’t call him ‘Fairy Godmother’ for nothing…

Ben and Beth are outside with Bess, presumably on Lakey Hill, and having a somewhat stilted conversation. She asks how he is getting on with Angie now and how he’s finding it on the wards, and tells him he looks shattered. Then Beth asks if they can talk properly. Now Steph has told her what actually happened, she feels so stupid and is really sorry. Ben says it must have looked pretty bad and he understands how it must have felt for Beth, given her trust issues and how Steph compounded it by lying. Beth says she will understand if she’s ruined everything… Would she be up for getting back together, Ben asks. Beth wishes it had never happened but… are we OK then, is that what Ben is saying? Yes, Ben says, if Beth is. She tells him she loves him: that hasn’t changed at all.

Chelsea arrives with a bulky bag and when Alistair thanks her, she says no problem: she is sure Denise will be more grateful than Steph Casey was. Denise confirms that she is indeed really grateful. When Shula didn’t answer, Alistair had to come up with someone with a similar build to Denise and thought of Tracy. Chelsea says both Denise and her mum have good figures, for their age, but that Tracy has no dresses suitable for an awards ceremony and anyway is already in bed because of her early shift tomorrow, so Chelsea has brought her own. The first, in mint-green silk, has a ruched neck but is too figure-hugging, while the little black number is too short, and cut too low: Denise says her style is more - frumpy? Chelsea suggests - more demure. And with the possibility of pictures in the Borchester Echo, Denise doesn’t want her husband thinking she left in one black dress only to change into a more revealing model once out of the house. Alistair says the taxi is on its way so they need to get on with it. The last dress, fuchsia pink in a classic cut with a diamante neckline, makes Denise afraid she will stand out too much, but she goes to try it on.

‘And just like that, he’s all loved up again’, Josh teases Ben. We all make mistakes, Josh adds, but not everyone forgives them so quickly. He’s not liked seeing Ben so down, and had thought the rave might cheer him up. Ben enquires whether Josh will be seeing the Felpersham woman he met there again and Josh is surprised Ben can remember anything of the evening after his beer and White Lightning combo. [White Lightning hasn’t been produced for 12 years. Gus] Ben says he is just relieved he and Beth have sorted things out; ‘unless she does it again’ Josh mutters. Ben begs him not to be weird with her. Josh says that if Beth ever messes Ben up again - he’ll be there for him. Beth doesn’t deserve him, but if Ben is happy then Josh supposes he should be too; Ben says he is, he really is.

Chelsea has put on some music so Denise can make a proper entrance and says she looks smokin’. Denise says she feels a bit ridiculous. Alistair asks whether, if she’s honest, she actually feels pretty good, better than she’s felt in ages, because she looks stunning, perfect. They thank Chelsea for saving them and she says they saved her from an evening with grandad and the TV, and then tells Alistair he should have got a limo for Denise, not just a taxi. ‘It’s a Vet Awards ceremony, not the Oscars!’ says Denise as they leave.

[Summarised by Gus ]

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8 July 2022
Denise was robbed, Tracy is under pressure, and Susan needs a new challenge

Characters: Gemma, Tracy Alistair, Denise, Chelsea, Susan
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director: Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

  • Gemma makes Tracy stay on after her shift
  • Denise didn’t win but she and Alistair enjoyed the evening anyway
  • Chelsea flogs That Dress to Denise (in fact Alistair buys it for her) and gives colour palette advice; Denise asks wot, like that parrot over there? [I like Denise. Gus.]
  • Tracy is too tired to meet Jazzer as arranged, agrees to go over with him to Susan’s for a meal tomorrow and then gets pressured by Gemma to work 0600 to 1400 Saturday, when she already had a cleaning job for the afternoon. Susan feels at a loose end and wants to find a new hobby or challenge.
  • Chelsea is planning some freelance hairdressing for the summer and encourages Tracy: things are looking up, and she’s dead proud of her mum and everything she does for her family
  • Denise and Alistair are both planning quiet weekends. He fails to say what he clearly wants to, and falls back on ‘well done’
  • Tracy finds out from Susan that Jazzer has gone for a pint with Neil and Martyn instead, and also that Gemma started on the production line at the same time as Emma. They were mates, and Gemma nipped some workplace bullying in the bud. Will Tracy please give Gemma their love?

[Bulletpointed by Gus, who apologises for dereliction of duty but whose brain has seized up ]

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Brad is teamed with Oliver, and Rosie’s fattening up nicely for slaughter school

Characters: Tracy, Brad, Pip, Toby, Ben, Eddie, Oliver
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Tracy is taking Brad for his first day haymaking at Grange Farm and fussing about sun-cream; Brad points out he’s sixteen, not six, and denies being nervous. George will be there, says Tracy encouragingly, and he’s always up for a laugh. It will do Brad good to be in the fresh air and it’s better than a freezing chicken factory, but since Oliver stabbed her in the back, that’s where she finds herself. When Brad points out she’s on a day off, Tracy counters that it’s her first for a week and enumerates the many chores she has to get through: it’s only the prospect of Susan’s Yorkshire puddings this evening that’s keeping her going. She drops Brad off and wishes him luck as Eddie comes to greet him.

Ben is handing over Rosie’s various accoutrements to Pip and Toby - swimming costume, hair-clip, water bottle, gigantosaurus. They tease him about being in a good mood: could it possibly be on account of Beth? Rosie is apparently playing schools in her room, and Ben says that even though, at just turning four, she will be very young for her year, school will be good for her. Pip can’t quite understand how her baby is starting school already. Ben lists all the advantages of being in formal schooling - learning, social skills, creativity, sport, being taught about a healthy lifestyle… Just what is Ben getting at, Pip asks indignantly. Ben has noticed that Rosie’s got a bit bigger; well of course she’s grown, says Pip. But Ben also was surprised by how heavy she was when he lifted her out of the paddling pool, and he’s pretty sure his niece is a bit overweight.

Eddie is lecturing Brad on the finer points of haymaking: a spotless barn because mouldy hay is a hazard, pallets laid to keep the air flowing, no overhanging stacks, no damp hay in with the dry stuff because that can cause fires. It all makes sense once you get started, he tells him. The hay was cut and turned last week so they are ready to start baling. George, who’s off college for the haymaking will be driving the baler, Brad will be loading and unloading the trailer with, Eddie reveals, a bit of help from Oliver. Brad is taken a bit aback but Eddie says Oliver knows his farming, and that haymaking is an evocative, romantic business.

Toby and Pip are both incensed at Ben’s criticism of Rosie’s weight, and Pip tells him he was out of order to comment on her weight or on any aspect of her appearance: she’s a three-year-old girl! Toby chimes in, telling Ben it was completely inappropriate, but Ben says he knows about nutrition thanks to his course and that being overweight in early childhood can pave the way for future health problems… Pip furiously informs him that a huge number of factors determine overall health and that there’s nothing wrong with Rosie’s diet. Ben says yes, buyt he knows how hard it can be sometimes to refuse a kid chocolate or an ice-cream. This does not soothe the savage Pip - quite the reverse. Is Ben saying they are neglectful parents, letting her eat junk food for a bit of peace? [Yes. And you are. Gus.] Has body positivity passed Ben by? Does he not know it’s not OK to label certain body shapes as unhealthy? If Ben says anything, anything, to Rosie suggesting that her body or appetite are in any way wrong Pip will kill him: it could end up in years of eating disorders, or worse. In fact, they won’t allow Ben to babysit again and could he please leave, now.

Oliver is complimenting Brad on the fine job he is doing - neat and quick; and how did his GCSEs go? Tracy has said he’s very academic. Possibly remembering Tracy’s earlier comment about Oliver, Brad is awkward at first but Oliver goes on to enquire about Tracy and her new job, and about Chelsea, and says it’s nice to have this chance to get to know Brad, although of course he 's hears a lot about him from his mum. More relaxed now, Brad says he can just imagine how Tracy used to chew Oliver’s ear off.

Pip comes in to find Toby cooking sausages and mash for Rosie’s lunch. Rosie’s watching cartoons, which Pip seems a little miffed about, but Toby assures her they spent an hour before that running round the park playing tig, and she’s a perfectly healthy, active child so watching TV until lunch is ready won’t hurt her. Pip then questions the amount of butter Toby is adding to the potatoes, but Toby says mash needs butter, and anyway, there will be broccoli, Rosie’s favourite, as well. Pip shouldn’t let Ben get to her. Pip says of course Toby is right and it was just typical of Ben to be over the top about things, but it was horrible to be accused.

Asking how Brad has found his first morning, Oliver says there is something strangely addictive about haymaking. then tells Eddie that Brad is a natural and that they make a good team. Brad thanks them for giving him the job. Eddie then asks how Oliver is getting on and he says it’s a day like any other, and that he still misses Caroline and always will. Eddie explains that it is five years today since Caroline died and Brad says he is very sorry: he didn’t know. Then his phone rings, and Tracy asks him how it’s going. Brad says he’s getting on OK but, when Tracy asks who’s there, says he can’t talk. She’ll pick him up later to take him to Susan’s for Sunday dinner, and get all the gossip then.

[Summarised by Gus ]

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11 July 2022
In which Alice thanks Shula, Lilian is optimistic, and George Grundy shows himself to be a thoroughly nasty piece of work.

Characters: George, Oliver, Brad, Lilian, Alice, Shula
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George asks if Oliver and Brad are on a go-slow, and Oliver says he’s quite the taskmaster: do they teach keeping farmhands in line at college? Brad protests he is going as fast as he can, which George says is not exactly speedy - but then Brad never joined in with British Bulldog at school, did he? Because it’s a stupid game, says Brad. No, because you were always caught first, George corrects him, and continues to provoke and bully Brad, claiming only to be messing. Anyway, how come Brad is working there: just a summer job, is it? Yes, says Brad, he’s going to college next year. George asks whether he’s going to do agriculture, because he doesn’t look like much of a farmer to him. No, says Brad, A-levels. George cannot see the point of that, but Oliver curtly interjects that they open a lot of doors, including to university. This cuts no ice with George, who mocks people who study useless stuff for two years for A-levels and then put in three more years at university and still haven’t a clue and can’t get a job. What’s the point? Learning a trade and earning some money, now that makes sense. His attention is caught by Eddie who’s out on the tractor mowing: apparently his driving is not up to George’s high standards. Oliver says Eddie Grundy has always danced to the beat of his own drum.

Lilian has been out on Aziz, accompanied by Alice on an unnamed horse. Lilian really needeed the fresh air, but now she has to go and make some calls about the cross-country course. Shula greets them; it turns out she has a spare half hour and is going to look at the course, and Alice asks if she can go with her. However, Lilian can’t join the party: she must crack on. Alice spoke to Jennifer last night: apparently she is having a ball in Hungary and will be staying on when Brian returns next week. He’s had a brilliant time too, says Alice, but he feels a bit funny being away at harvest time.

George says he has to take over to stop Grandpa ruining the tractor, but needles Brad a bit more first, telling him to put his back into it: he looks as if he’s about to keel over. When George leaves, Oliver says George can be a bit full-on sometimes and he could have a word with him if Brad would like. Brad wouldn’t; it’s fine, he’s used to being ‘teased’. By George? Oliver asks. And at school, by idiots, Brad tells him. So, what A-levels will Brad be doing, Oliver enquires. Definitely maths and physics plus another one, possibly engineering: Brad says he enjoys working stuff out. Well, Tracy was always good with numbers, Oliver says fondly; but maybe Brad also gets it from his dad’s side. This obviously touches a nerve, as Brad mumbles he hasn’t seen his father in quite a while. He reckons they can do a couple more bales before pausing for lunch, which disappoints Oliver, and Brad suggests he take a breather anway: he can manage. He asks Oliver how he is and when he says his back is giving him gyp indicates that he meant about Caroline’s anniversary. Oliver won’t pretend it isn’t hard, but life goes on; you just have to accept that when certain people die, you will always miss them and that that’s all right, to be expected even; but we keep going. Yes, says Brad, we do.

Alice is full of enthusiasm: the cross-country course is going to be amazing and it is great to see the stable doing so well. Shula replies that it’s great to see Alice doing so well, too and seeming happy, settled and calm; grounded, even. Alice confesses she does feel a weight has been lifted from her and that she couldn’t have survived the last year without Shula’s support: her listening, and lending money, letting Alice muck out when she needed to think… It just goes to show, says Shula, that horses are the best thing when it comes to clearing one’s head. No, Alice corrects her, Shula is. Lilian emerges and tells them both that they’re back, which presumably they already knew. Her calls have been a great success. Local children’s TV celebrity Beatrice Peacock who has a horse competing at Blenheim in September is eager to try the course out and everyone else Lilian has spoken to is also very interested. Just goes to show how good Justin is at having ideas at the right time and making things happen; in fact, Lilian is surprised he wasn’t headhunted for PM over the weekend.

When Brad tells George Oliver was having trouble with his back, George says the boring old duffer was more likely having trouble with his banger. He bores George to death, but it’s worth keeping him sweet as he will always slip George a few quid if he mentions not having the money to do this or that: he’s loaded. Maybe Brad should give it a try; George doesn’t understand why his grandparents don’t try to tap Oliver up for some serious cash. He owes them, after all: Eddie and Clarrie are pretty much the only people talking to Oliver after the Grey Gables closure. Maybe Eddie just doesn’t want to take advantage, suggests Brad. When George asks if Brad is soft or what, Brad points out that while George has been mouthing off, Brad has done twice the amount of work he has. George wonders who rattled Brad’s cage. Anyway, the trailer is ready and stacked and is Brad going to drive it over to the barn or what?

[Summarised by Gus, against her better judgment]

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12 July 2022
Helen asks for an expert’s advice, and Pip admits Ben was right

Characters: Susan, Clarrie, Helen, Pip, Ben
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Susan, Clarrie and Helen are chatting in the dairy. Helen says Natasha is getting pretty uncomfortable now and Susan says at least she knows exactly when she’ll have the babies, and Helen confirms that she goes in for tests next Thursday and will have the C-section on the Friday. Clarrie will be nipping over to Brookfield in her lunch break to leave Poppy’s old uniforms for Rosie. Helen tells them the mozzarella project is still being considered, but in the interim she and Tom have come up with some plans to boost online cheese sales. Susan likes the idea of a buffalo herd and observes that with the new-look Grey Gables and the cross-country course in the pipeline, Ambridge is on the up. They want to focus on retaining and growing the current customer bases, says Helen, and to that end are overhauling the website and their marketing to add a more personal touch. Postcards with Henry’s picture of the Monties will go into each pack, signed by the dairy workers. Oh, and they will be putting photos and bios of the staff on the website so can Susan and Clarrie please write something about themselves this afternoon for Tom to upload this evening: he’s getting as much as possible done before the twins arrive. Clarrie sounds unconvinced but Susan is very much up for it.

Pip tells Clarrie she needn’t have dashed over at lunchtime but Clarrie says she’s doing it to help William, who is working on the haymaking: it’s flat-out at the moment. Pip admires the condition of Poppy’s uniform and says that starting school is all Rosie talks about; however, the prospect makes Pip feel a bit sick. She then apologises: it must have been so much harder for Will and for Poppy, having to start without her mum. Clarrie concedes that it was very difficult for Will but that Poppy was fine, skipping off into school without a backward glance: she was fine, and so will Rosie be. Pip shouldn’t worry: children are more resilient than one thinks, and anyone can see Rosie is made of strong stuff. Pip bridles and demands to know just what Clarrie meant by that. Clarrie tactfully indicates it was the child’s robust temperament she was referring to [and certainly not the fact that she’s a fat little so & so. Gus].

Working on her bio, Susan discovers that the more she writes the more she thinks of, and Clarrie warns her seriously of the dangers of putting personal information out there: the internet is not a safe place. The Carters should know that, after the threats and abuse the received after the Echo’s slavery article. Susan is insouciant, saying it’s just fluff to give customers a warm and fuzzy feeling. Anyway, Clarrie has no idea what to write. Susan tells her what she has put - which includes her role as postmistress and her broadcasting history as well as her dairy credentials, and will also cover her hobbies. Clarrie is still at a loss and Susan suggests she say she’s from a farming family who are currently haymaking, and that she is a keen seamstress who has made countless costumes for village shows: it’s no use hiding her light under a bushel. Helen comes in, and she is Not Happy. They’ve had complaints from three customers who’ve received wet boxes full of melted cheese. Susan tells Helen that will be the ice-packs having burst; she did warn Helen. Snappily, Helen says they have an emergency situation here and perhaps they could leave apportioning blame until later: the priority is to replace the goods before the customers leave negative feedback on the site.

As Pip goes to help Ruth with the milking she ignores Ben’s greeting, ‘So you’re not talking to me now?’ he asks. Pip responds arsily: she hasn’t got time for this. Ben assures her that he wasn’t suggesting she was not a good parent - anyone can see that both she and Toby are; and he’ll be totally gutted if he can’t see Rosie. Of course he can, says Pip, but not right now: Toby’s taken her to the playground to cheer her up after an ‘incident’ this afternoon. When Ben enquires about this incident, Pip admits that what happened rather proved Ben’s point, actually…

Susan is finishing up in the dairy, Clarrie having left, when Helen apologies for snapping earlier. The couriers for the replacements have been given strict instructions; Susan says maybe they have, but there’s always a risk when using water-based ice-packs. Helen says she would love to hear Susan’s thoughts about alternatives, and Susan is delighted to be consulted: one doesn’t get to the position of postmistress without picking up a thing or two about packaging. Having considered all the options, she reckons Helen should be using gel icepacks and kiln-dried wood wool. It’s more expensive, but it’s safe and looks rustic and the gel packs, while less eco than standard ice-packs, won’t burst in transit. Rhetorically, Helen wonders why she didn’t go to Susan in the first place [but she did. Gus] and tells her she’s a genius. Susan might just add that to her bio!

Pip tells Ben that what happened was awful, and he should have seen poor Rosie’s face: she was devastated when none of the school clothes would do up. Pip told her that perhaps they had shrunk and that they could get her new ones, but… She tells Ben he’s right: she knows Rosie’s gained weight, and what is she going to do about it? Ben tactfully suggests that when you see someone every day, it’s harder to notice changes. Pip can’t understand it: she thinks her daughter gets a balanced, normal diet and, when Ben tells her everything will be OK, says it doesn’t feel OK: she’s taken her eye off the ball and let Rosie down. [Someone needs to: here, take this handy pin. Gus]

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13 July 2022
Oliver has a bad case of nostalgie de la Trace, while Susan finds her mission.

Characters: Susan, Adam, Clarrie, Helen, Oliver, Brad
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the dairy, Susan, Adam and Clarrie are admiring the new publicity photographs and congratulating one another on how professional they look; Adam’s action shot with the Monties is particularly admired. Susan is revelling in her new title, Packaging Consultant, which Helen felt it was only fair to award her. As Clarrie asks whether they are going for lunch, Susah exclaims in dismay: have they seen the new front page of the website? ‘Bridge Farm needs you! After the loss of a major customer, Bridge Farm is struggling to survive…’ What is Tom thinking? Playing the sympathy card, Clarrie suggests, but Susan maintains it’s a bad look: Bridge Farm should be shouting about its produce, not begging for custom. Just as they decide to say nothing about it to Helen, given how volatile she was yesterday, she arrives and tells Adam how much Henry and Jack love the new asparagus, goat cheese and honey pizza: an 11/10. Susan reckons Ian’s pizzas will go down a storm at the fete. Clarrie says they sound lovely and wishes them every success, but clearly has reservations; Helen asks her what the ‘but’ is, and Clarrie warns that Adam and Ian might need to steel themselves for opposition.

Bale-stacking in the sunshine has transported Oliver back to when he was ten, remembering haymaking on the family farm; but he doesn’t want to bore Brad. Brad protests that it is interesting and asks whether they had tractors then. Horses were still used, Oliver tells him, but on their farm they had a tractor by then, a Gold Belly: a thing of beauty and a real game-changer. Oliver talks of making ricks using pitchforks and asks Brad to imagine doing things without a baler. But Brad seems to be enjoying it, Oliver goes on. Brad confirms he is, although he only said yes because he needed the money. He has an advanced maths summer school place: the course itself is free but he will be funding his living expenses and train fares.

Apparently Jean Harvey thinks pizzas sound ‘grungy’ and better suited to a music festival than the Ambridge fete. Anyone would think they were burgers, not artisan pizzas, says Susan indignantly. Helen comments that the fete needs to move with the times and Susan says the best thing to do with people like Jean Harvey is to ignore them; Clarrie points out it’s not as easy as that, now Jean is head of the WI and has Pat Fletcher as her deputy. The pair are planning to write to the committee to object and get Ian kicked out and Clarrie fears things could turn nasty. Adam wonders about backing out and launching somewhere else, rather than risking failure. Susan tells him that is exactly what the WI are banking on and they absolutely must not withdraw. She’s been looking for a new mission and has found it - ensuring a successful launch for the pizza van.

Oliver is congratulating Brad on his summer school place: competition for places is stiff and he’s clearly very gifted. Brad is hoping it might help him decide between further maths and engineering for his third A-level; he’s looking forward to the actual maths but not to being in a large group of strangers. When Oliver reassures him he will soon make friends, Brad says he’s not really a friends kind of person: he never knows what to say. Oliver says it is commendable that Brad wants to pay his own way and shows character: most young people would expect their parents to pay for that kind of thing. What it shows, Brad explains bitterly, is that there is no point in him asking his mother for money: Tracy could have helped if she hadn’t been sacked from her well paid job, or has Oliver forgotten about that? As Oliver starts to apologise, Brad goes off for his break.

Helen advocates sensible conversation as the way to win Jean Harvey over, but Susan reckons the woman’s incapable of sense and that approach would just make her worse. What Adam and Ian need to do, according to Susan, is to offer the WI an exclusive, complimentary pizza-tasting session. At the outset, they must lay it on thick, claiming they are keen to learn from the WI’s years of experience. Once in, they can turn on the charm and bow and scrape; then, when they hit the WI with the pizzas, they’ll fold. Helen takes a call from Tom: it turns out there has been a lot more traffic on the website and some good comments, including praise from one of the melted cheese recipients whose replacement arrived in perfect condition. Helen admits she wasn’t entirely sure about Tom’s strategy for replacing lost business, but that he felt people would get behind Bridge Farm; and maybe he’s right. He’s been working his socks off in the run-up to the births and keeps referring to his paternity leave, which Adam will be covering for him, as a ‘break’; Adam prophesies Tom won’t know what’s hit him.

Brad has sought out Oliver, who is watching a hare, to tell him everything’s done in the barn but despite how hard they have both worked, they are behind schedule. He tells Oliver he is sorry and that he didn’t mean to go off on one but he’s got a temper: it’s the only way in which he is like his mother. Oliver insists that it is he who should apologise for being insensitive. And how is Tracy getting on? Brad says she’s doing all right and that the chicken factory seems to be Banter City. This sets Oliver remembering how often Tracy made him laugh at Grey Gables. He tells Brad he’s perhaps more like his mother than he thinks. After pretending to be offended, Brad admits his mum is all right really. More than all right, says Oliver: she’s got a good heart. Brad spots Tracy arriving to pick him up, and Oliver fondly bids him goodbye.

[Summarised by Gus]

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Bastille Day 2022

The Horrobins feel the pressure, Oliver lightens the load, and Clarrie makes light of lightening Rosie.

Characters: Chelsea, Tracy, Brad, Eddie, Oliver, Clarrie, Pip, George
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At breakfast, Chelsea is bemoaning her lot; after a full day at college and working until midnight on her coursework, she now has an eight-hour shift at The Orangery and then will have to go out delivering more fliers to try and get some real hairdressing experience over the summer. Angrily, Tracy asks her if she’d fancy the chicken factory instead, with the cold and the punishing pace, hacking the wings of chickens for eight hours. ‘Not while I’m eating!,’ says Chelsea, which does nothing to improve Tracy’s temper. Chelsea then says it’s all right for Brad, and is told that haymaking isn’t a doddle either: Brad’s just doing his best, same as the rest of them. Chelsea then accuses him of being a traitor for being mates with Oliver, which Brad denies, and Tracy tells them both to pack it in. While she’s grateful Chelsea has her back, she can’t take any more squabbling. Anyway, how is Oliver? Brad says they don’t really talk much and, to be honest, he’s a bit of a boring old duffer.

Eddie asks Oliver if he and Clarrie can open their eyes yet. Oliver says they may. George is just coming into view, driving a telehandler. Eddie is baffled as he thought Bridge and Home Farms were using it all week. Oliver tells him that in fact it should have been with them earlier than this but the hire firm had supply issues. Eddie and Clarrie are horrified at what this will have cost Oliver, but he maintains the rates are very reasonable. Anyway, says Oliver, it’s a purely selfish move, as the forklift will save his back. Clarrie remembers she’s left a stew on the hob and dashes off, while Oliver tells Eddie that he can’t claim full credit: it was George who gave him the idea when he was filling Oliver in on how much farming has changed…

Clarrie is telling Pip there was no need for her to dash round with the uniform, but Pip says that she thought Clarrie might be able to pass it on to someone else. Clarrie can’t understand why it was too small: William bought clothes with room for Poppy to grow, to save money. Pip mumbles something about two girls, two different sizes and Clarrie asks if she has time for tea and a sit-down: it looks as if Pip could do with a chat.

George and Eddie are singing the praises of the telehandler, which George says is an amazing bit of kit, top of the range, before rubbing it in that Brad can’t have a go on it as he can’t drive. They’ll be finished by lunchtime and can then get on over at Red House Farm. Eddie hopes George hasn’t been dropping hints, only Oliver mentioned that he’d been talking about advancements in technology and Eddie hopes Oliver didn’t feel obliged. Grandpa, what do you take me for?, protests George unctuously, adding that this is Oliver all over - the man has a heart of gold, and George could listen to his reminiscences for hours: they are lucky to have him. Eddie heartily agrees.

Pip feels awful to have let Rosie down; she’s checked on the NHS website and the child is definitely overweight. Clarrie says that Rosie is clearly a healthy kid and so what if she’s on the heavier side: things will even themselves out, they always do. Comfortingly, she advises Pip to carry on as she is, giving her healthy food, but perhaps not quite so much of it. She goes on to parrot the current orthodoxies; parents should talk about strength, health and energy but not mention shape or weight. And Rosie will learn about a healthy diet at school, too, and schools make these things fun. Apparently Poppy came home one day telling Eddie he had to drop the pork pies because of the saturated fat. Still trying to make Pip feel better, Clarrie recounts the telling-off she had from William when the jelly sweets Clarrie used to give Poppy to cheer her up in the wake of Nic’s death resulted in two fillings and Will getting it in the neck from Poppy’s dentist. She’s sure Rosie will be OK in the long run. Pip thanks Clarrie for being so reassuring.

At Grange Farm, everything is done for the day by half past four, and Eddie says the machine is incredible. Oliver did wonder if he was overstepping the mark, but Eddie reassures him it has been a godsend. He and George made a start at Red House Farm, while Brad was fixing fencing down by the Pole Barn. Oliver says Brad is a good worker and, when Eddie says he’s a bit quiet, that actually he is surprisingly chatty, and that he is aiming for university. Eddie reckons that those two young ones together with the two old ones, him and Oliver, make a good team.

Chelsea is surprised Brad is back at this time and asks why he is there. Brad explains he was let go early and begins rhapsodising about the marvellous giant robot telehandler that Oliver magicked up. Chelsea tells him he needs to get a grip and instead of going all soft about farm machinery, also get his priorities straight. Family is family, she tells him, and to cross one of us is to cross all of us. It isn’t on for Brad to be bessie mates with Oliver Stirling: it’s his fault their mother is skint and sad. Brad protests that Oliver really does care, not only about Tracy but about the two of them as well, which enrages Chelsea. Brad might think he’s so clever but he hasn’t got a clue about the real world. Brad says he does, and will soon be out in it, whereupon Chelsea suggests he get out, now. An incensed Tracy comes in and commands them both to just button it, as she was trying to grab ten minutes’ peace with her book before making the chickpea curry - unless either of them fancies cooking it. With Tracy out of the room again, Chelsea asserts that Oliver Sterling is the enemy, end of, and Brad had better work out whose side he’s on.

[Summarised by Gus]

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15 July 2022

Justin feels Shula needs reining in; Brad is no longer needed at all.

Characters: Shula, Alice, Justin, Chelsea, Tracy, Lilian, Brad
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Shula greets Alice, who’s arrived early to take Marcie out, and thanks her for covering for Joanne the other day. Shula has just finished a Riding for the Disabled session, which she says is her favourite part of the job as the clients get so much out of it. Justin arrives: these days, if he doesn’t fit in a ride first thing, he doesn’t get time for one at all as he’s so busy with the cross-country course. Still, it’s all very positive as they are on track to open next month and the course has attracted lots of interest. But they mustn’t take their eyes off the ball… When Justin has left, Alice says these are exciting times for The Stables and Shula agrees but hopes the new projects won’t overshadow the other work. She wants to develop an equine-assisted therapy programme and is exploring funding options to offer sessions free to community groups. Alice tells her that someone in her rehab group found such therapy life-changing; horses don’t judge, and it’s a brilliant idea.

Chelsea asks what Tracy is going to do with her day off, and Tracy says it’s a toss-up between a spa day, tea at the Ritz, or doing some laundry and cooking tea… While she’s glad not to be at work, she quite misses the craic at the factory. Chelsea advises her mum to put her feet up and Tracy admits she might have a bath in the middle of the day as her ‘spa session’. That reminds Chelsea about the health club and she asks Tracy if she misses Grey Gables. In turn, Tracy asks Chelsea if she’s on a mission to make her feel bad; she’s made friends at the factory and, while the work is more regimented, at least she doesn’t have to deal with entitled pillocks. Altogether, says Tracy, things could be worse: they are all in jobs they like and earning good money.

Back at the Stables, Justin says that the guest list for the launch is shaping up nicely and Lilian tells him that the Loxley Barratt people are interested and she will chase them up in due course. Alice asks when work starts on their new kitchen; next week, says Lilian, and she’s dreading it. Justin vetoed moving out for the duration: it’s better to be on site to keep a eye on progress. When he says he was hoping to show Shula the guest list, Alice tells him she’s taking a lesson. But Shula was telling her about the equine therapy centre earlier, and Alice thinks it’s a great idea… It is clear neither Lilian nor Justin knew anything about this, and Justin pooh-poohs the whole concept. As Alice begins extolling the benefits of the therapies, Justin dismisses it as just another of Shula’s do-gooding schemes; The Stables is a business, not some humanitarian mission.

In the car, Tracy says it’s lovely to see Brad excited about farm machinery and clearly enjoying a job that’s doing him good. And maybe she is a total embarrassment but it’s her job, seeing as she’s his mother. She asks Brad how he’s getting on with Oliver and he claims not to see much of him. Tracy assures him it’s fine for him to get on with Oliver: she knows herself that he’s good to work with. Brad admits that Oliver is nice and has been helpful showing him how to do things, but he can’t forget he sacked Tracy and he doesn’t want his mum thinking he doesn’t have her back… Don’t worry, Tracy tells him, you’re doing great.

As Shula begins to tell Lilian about an email, Lilian interrupts to tell her Justin is on the warpath about equine therapy. While she can see it does have some merits, Justin isn’t so keen. Justin then bursts in and wants to know when Shula was going to discuss her scheme with them. Shula says that she was going to mention it but that under their agreement the lessons side of the business is her domain. Justin counters that they are now a partnership and this idea has financial disaster written all over it; they came on board because the business model was failing. Shula reminds him that making money is not their only focus: she stipulated that the community core of the business must be retained. Alice, who was passing and overheard, joins in to say that she really thinks therapies, as well as being valuable for the community, could also be an earner for The Stables. Does Justin know that people will pay a fortune for it because provision is so scarce? This takes the wind out of Justin’s sails somewhat: a profitable service is a completely different proposition.

Back home from the Orangery, Chelsea is pestering Tracy for a foot massage, with little success. Tracy has been doing housework all day and has made lasagne for tea, from scratch, so a bowl of hot water is all Chelsea will be getting. Chelsea is writing herself a reminder to take scissors in with her tomorrow: Russ wants another haircut, and says Chelsea is his favourite hairdresser. Tracy points out that in that case, it would be nice if he started paying her but Chelsea says she can’t charge a mate. Both are surprised to hear Brad coming in: he’s early, and anyway he never walks home. Brad says he felt like it. He finished at lunchtime and thanks to Oliver’s stupid machine, that’s it: Eddie won’t be needing him next week. Chelsea can’t believe it - basically, Oliver Sterling’s now got Brad the sack too.

[A tale summarised by an Gus, signifying nothing]

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