Jobs for Freddy?


#1

Polishing up PC Plod’s boots? Helmet? Truncheon? ('ere wotchit Sturmey! - Ed)
Washing PC Plods’s Panda Car

any other ideas?


#2

Taking over as Mia’s maths coach.


#3

Contract killer.

I have a list.


#4

All those smug, entitled Archers who in Ambridge do abound
I really must insist they’re first upon the list!
And the younger generation who identical do sound
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
And the pointless bloody blow-ins who appear for twenty seconds
To highlight some new issue in case Woman’s Hour beckons
And the plump and pompous parson who dull platitudes dispenses
And enlists for lenten nonsense those who’ve surely lost their senses
And those Lynda Snell productions which would make me slit my wrists
I don’t think they’d be missed — I’m sure they’d not be missed!

And behind the scenes the scriptwriters who haven’t got a clue
They never would be missed, so stick 'em on the list
And egotistic editors of misogynist hue
O’Connor’s on the list—he never would be missed
And his sycophants like Stimpleton who couldn’t give a damn
About history or even the direction of the Am
And the online apologists who will not admit their error
Even when its clear that plot lines don’t make any sense whatever
But there’s one person that they really ought to re-enlist:
Bring back the archivist, for she sorely has been missed!


#5

Bravo, bravo, joe!


#6

Religious counsellor to the local saints?

Oh dear, larfing at St. Stevie’s? tut tut! Very norty!


#7

He’s about the only person showing any intelligent interest in what Shula does or being aware that she has feelings, even so.


#8

I thought the interaction between them this evening was well done, even allowing for the usual Shula all-about-her soul-polishing. Freddie is nowhere near as up-his-own-arse as is often suggested.

Right. That’s this week’s hyphen allowance blown.


#9

I have some hardly-used, one careful owner ones I could let you have for a small consideration…


#10

If his job has to be with someone who isn’t related to him, it can’t really be in Ambridge, can it. Everyone there is.