…the return of Squawk and Toerag. BARF!
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Oh, but it was splendid…
…
…while it lasted.
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But neither of them savaged by a goose1 or drownded. A wasted opportunity.
######1Or indeed vice versa
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They’re both awful. And why on earth would Pip need to keep persuading Toby to keep his mind on rounding up the goslings? They’re his ruddy goslings, aren’t they? At least I think he co-owns them with Rex, but even if not, what a useless pillock he is and yet she always chooses to enable this man-child. Stupid woman that she is. I’d have walked off and left him to it if he wouldn’t get off his briefcasing phone.
Oh, and annoying though Susan is, I don’t like them any the better for using her then laughing at her behind her back.
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I very much hope, Janie, that you wouldn’t like them any the better for anything, except possibly dying horribly, swiftly and, above all, off air. You aren’t one of those dreadful, open-minded, treat [whatever] on its merits people are you?
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Stoppit. Beer/nasal membranes interface again. And anyway, it is arguably the case that that has in fact happened. To and by each.
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On air, shurely? Don’t forget we’ve had official confirmation that if something isn’t heard on air, it hasn’t happened, so best to be sure. Besides, don’t you want to hear them die horribly? Not quickly, though; I reckon it would worth an entire week, fludde-style, so we can enjoy it all over again in the omni…
It’s the least they could do to compensate the listeners for the years of torment.
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At your own ears’ risk be it. You’ve heard how she tortures the tongue when not being tortured herself Now square that.
But if they find themselves short-staffed, I’m available to help 
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I misread yesterday’s synopsis and thought it was “Toby up to his ears in boiling gin”.
Can we take up a subscription to make this happen?
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What an excellent idea!
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Albeit a slight waste of gin when water would do the job better or cheapo vegetable oil better still. .
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Will no one think of the slurry pit?
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Oh I do. Far too often. Echo of long-ago, sorely tried mistress: “You gels have minds like sewers”. The woman had a point. But most of our literature lessons seemed geared to encouraging our little minds to look for sewerishness in apparently innocent burblings about flowers and suchlike, so really, what did they want or expect?
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Are sewers the same as seamstresses?
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Points of resemblance, certainly…
It is only fair to tell you, though, Hedgers, that I have a darning mushroom and am not afraid to use it.
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Free the hedgerow one! Hedgers is innocent ok?
This household has a darning egg.
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I saw a rather spiffy one of them recently. Ebony, it was, with a fancy silver handle.
The egg is probably more easily weaponised than the mushroom. But Dr Lawn needs his sleep, so perhaps best not…
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This one is (I think) walnut, and belonged to me grandmother. No handle; it is simply egg-shaped.
My mother actually used a marble egg from Italy, which I think my brother’s wife has.
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