… is coming to my mind a lot these days. It’s what I heard Norman Painting say about Phil on, I think, Desert Island Discs.
Archers characters have always irritated, but these days a lot of them would actually drive me out of the pub. Is there anyone left who you would really like to have a drink with in the pub?
Matt?
Matt; it would be entertaining, Brian ditto. Robert because he’s a nice man, Neil ditto. Tony so long as he kept off the subject of his woes. Oliver and Caroline, but only as a couple. Um.
I have thought long and hard (for at least a minute) and it’s only Brian that I could tolerate. Okay, maybe Tony.
Soo xx
I’d have drink with any of the characters who don’t always want either to talk about themselves or make everything about themselves (not quite the same thing). Doesn’t mean they are exemplary people, necessarily, but that they would be able to hold a reasonable conversation.
So I think I would not mind having a drink with Kenton, we’d chat about Australia because I’ve never been there, Shula, I like horses, she can tell me horsey stories, Nigel if he were alive, he could tell me about some batty plan of his, Tony, I really wouldn’t mind listening to him bang on about that tractor, maybe he has photos of it on his phone, bet he does. Who else? Not Kate because it wouldn’t be interesting tales about Spiritual Home, it would all about Kate. Helen would be very dull unless she wanted to tell me about Stab Night or prison. But she has no conversation, she only talks about things that concern her directly. Jazzer and Jim together, that might be interesting. Like Helen, Ruth has no conversation, she’d just be trying to pry some information from me about someone else’s trouble. Susan would also be on the lookout for gossip, though I wouldn’t mind hearing her frank views on Jennifer. Jennifer, I’d listen to her and laugh at her secretly. She’s not a bad sort, really, just awfully silly and insecure socially.
I seem to have left out Brian but I’m not sure he’s quite as amusing as he used to be.
Anisha.
It would go like this … “so … explain yourself !”
If we were still there after that …" go in then … how old are you ??"
And " … where did you disappear to and why".
In person the amusing Matt and Brian would be the pits. Their humour is always at someone’s expense, so there’s a risk it might be at mine. Matt would have fistfuls of bling and be horribly LOUD. Brian would be a truly horrible patronising snob.
Jennifer and Lynda would have interest for their gardens and I’d like to talk to Caroline and Oliver. But I hope it would be at a pub of my choice because The Bull really isn’t my sort of pub. Bloody tourists by the coachload. Shudder 
Anyone other than Hellen, Pat, Hootenanny, Ruth, Plop, Josh, Tom, Willerm, Brendurr, Moike, Vicki,Toby, Joe, Plank.
Kate and Soosan I could endure for no more than 10 minutes, and I’ll call time on Shula if she got into martyr mode.
I quite like Lynda and Robert,. And Rex seems to be okay
Yes, I’d gladly chat to Lynda and Robert. I think I’d find Rex a bit of a downer and Toby would make me want to slap him, ditto Pip.
The good thing about a pub is that you don’t have to be best friends with the person or even particularly like them or trust them or approve of them; you’re just chatting. Which is more or less the way I feel about letting them into my house via the radio. That is to say, I judge them on their entertainment value. Ruth and Pip have none as far as I am concerned, not if they were real and in the pub with me, nor on the radio.
What might be entertaining would be Kate and Helen together, so supremely self-absorbed as each one is. We heard them once, when Kate told Helen she thought having a baby via artificial insemination was a terrible idea and that didn’t go down too well. I’d love it if Kate went and gave Helen lots of unwanted advice about her chakras or how to deal with her children.
Frivolous question here- I’d quite like to talk to Brian, but I might have to ask him about his teeth. Is it me -I have hearing problems ATM, due to an infection, but has he had dental work done, or new teeth? He sounds to me as though he is ‘bedding them in’…
Carinthia.xx
I hadn’t noticed, Carinthia, but I’ll listen for it. Bruce had a very marked sibilance if that’s the right word and Heatherpet in her last version got a lot of comments about her teeth.
Thank-you, Janie
When I was a child (Ha), one could always tell when someone had new false teeth, & to me he sounded just like that
Hardly likely though
Carinthia.xx
There aren’t many I would actually arrange to go with to the pub but I think I could chat to most of them if they happened to be there. Tom, Helen, Kate, Josh, Susan, Will in full flow would however get me to leave.
Pip and Toby would have me heading for the door too. At least I don’t seem to be sexist in my aversions. I do seem to be ageist though.
Sod 'isms’or the potential accusation of, just hate everyone. Works for me.