Alistair.
You colossal fucking PRUNE.
âOh Dad, I see that you were having a nice time. Let me bring you right down, shall I?â
Quite.
Aaaaand itâs largely about him, too
I could hardly bear to listen, why canât he just leave the poor sod alone?
I think itâs Jazzer who is going to do the worst damage in the end though, I can see him losing patience and telling the police himself. Or telling someone else he really shouldnât.
I fear you will turn out to be right about that, dere
Yes, exactly. And what a lovely way to start by saying, âItâs wonderful to see you happyâ or words to that effect, instantly reminding him of not being happy. Even without mentioning the police, that was a downer. Which Jim noticed. (That was actually a good bit of writing).
Funnily enough, Helen never seems to mind when things like that are said to her because she laps up the implication of âafter all youâve been throughâ. Jim, on the other hand, doesnât relish that kind of attention and clearly doesnât.
And donât you love people who say, âYouâre in a good mood!â
Yes, and if he does, Alistair will be partly to blame for raising the subject yet again. All very well to say âJim doesnât want toâ when Jazzer heard Alistair lobbying so strenuously for Jim to go to the police. Why does no one mention Haroldâs age, for heavenâs sake?
Or the extreme unlikelihood of evidence on either side being available?
âYes, and Iâve just got the blood out of my shoes.â
Couldnât say, Iâm sure, dere.
I have a nasty feeling someone is going to try to guilt Jim into the police station on behalf of the possible current âweansâ with whom Dr Strangelove potentially disports himself⌠The bbc message will of course be that this is the Right and Responsible thing to do. In which case they picked a pretty rickety vehicle for getting their propaganda across. Not that being 90-something and wheelchair -bound necessarily rules out all forms of sexual offending. No doubt Dr Sâs hard drive wll be clarted with images of CSA.
What, the âBlood-Stained Bannerâ, Robert E. Lee on Travellerâthat sort of thing?
I ainât seen one good lynchin in years, joe. But no, not what I meant, as you very well know
Well I was right, but I really wish I hadnât been.
You do realise I am going to blame you for this, donât you?
Utter hoofwanking bunglenumpty. (Oh, for the avoidance of doubt, thatâs Jazzer. Not TFM, dearie me no, perish the thort).
Shouldnât be too difficult even for Burns of the Quarter-Inch to work out who was meant - baldie, wrinkly auld feller in a wheelchair? gosh, I saw one of them just recently, hmmm, when was that? - and then to start asking questions of the people who organised the party. Thatâs all going to go SO well.
He wanted to be called âThird Degreeâ Burns, but someone up at the Bureau of Nicknames noticed the terminology had changed, so now itâs âFull Thicknessâ Burns. So Iâm sure he can drag this out for months.
I suspect the next piece of paper with writing on it will read: Egredimini de medio domus meae
Oh, very fine!
Yes, and I wish heâd stuck with his decision when he said thus to Alistair and Jazzer. And Shula.
Yes, absolutely. And not told the nosy-parkers anything.
Gosh, how he must be regretting that! Even Jazzer was making those annoying âso nice to see you busyâ type remarks that are sure to act as a reminder of what heâd prefer to forget. I say âevenâ because thatâs not really Jazzerâs style, in my opinion. Heâs blunt, but I should have thought comments to the effect of ânice to see you happyâ (as opposed to âŚ) was not really his style. Much more like Shula ⌠I think she said something similar to Elizabeth. Not that Elizabeth would mind, sheâd lap it up, loving the attention. Ditto Helen.