One-liners to April 30

12 Apr Harrison attempts to get to the bottom of recent events and Freddie has something on his mind.
13 Apr Robert faces friction at the B&B and Shula proves a bad influence.
14 Apr Roy receives some interesting information and Tracy tries to get her own way.
15 Apr Alistair makes an unusual offer, and Tracy wants the big scoop.
16 Apr Ed gets a wake-up call, and has Lynda found her voice again?

19 Apr Roy has a revealing encounter and Lilian takes charge.
20 Apr Shula faces some home truths, and Philip feels spontaneous.
21 Apr Will Phoebe get the better of Justin Elliott? Tracy offers new blood to the cricket team.
22 Apr Mild mannered Robert forgets himself, and Gavin Moss is struggling to keep control.
23 Apr Jim offers support to a friend, and Shula has come through an almighty challenge.

26 Apr Roy finds himself in a vulnerable position, and Tracy can’t take a hint.
27 Apr Susan can’t help worrying about Emma, and Roy’s the worse for wear.
28 Apr A wedding blunder leaves Kirsty fuming, and Tracy needs to swallow her pride.
29 Apr Things need to be said between Emma and Ed, and Leonie is determined to lend a hand.
30 Apr Lilian shares her Justin-wrangling wisdom, and Roy has a wobble.

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“He was supposed to run off and abandon me! I even put it in the pre-nup!”

“Goodbye.”

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Snork, Gus! Maybe the blunder is a slight misunderstanding about the ‘horses’ drawing the carriage that Philip arranged as a little surprise (they love surprises in TA, after all).

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I am flattered, but I am Aves, not Gastropoda.

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Of course you are! Sorry, only had one coffee.

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It wisnae me (as I see That Sparrer has pointed out.

Gawds, but it sounds tedious.

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Is no one going to say something smuttily witty or wittily smutty about April 26? Joe?

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I thought it was too obvious. The less smutty version: whenever vanilla people write about bondage, they never seem to grasp the idea of a safeword.

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