One-liners to December 13


18 Nov It’s an emotional day for Eddie and Joy makes a friend.
19 Nov There’s a bump in the road for Elizabeth, and David has concerns.
20 Nov Lily is left feeling guilty and Justin attempts to widen his net.
21 Nov Things are looking up for Tracy, and Eddie has a change of heart.
22 Nov Justin’s plans gather pace and Jill sets the record straight.

24 Nov Johnny is left devastated and Leonard has the rug pulled from under him.
25 Nov Helen receives a blast from the past and Pip is touched by an unexpected gesture.
26 Nov It’s crunch time for Phoebe and Justin has yet more tricks up his sleeve.
27 Nov Elizabeth puts her foot down and Lynda is keen to maintain tradition.
28 Nov Harrison is shocked by some harsh criticism and Russ gets his wires crossed.
29 Nov Justin’s scheme takes shape and Lynda finds herself in trouble.

01 Dec Josh finds himself in trouble and Phoebe pushes forwards.
02 Dec Helen is in a quandary and the Bridge Farm Archers rally round.
03 Dec Brian takes a risk and Will receives an unexpected invitation.
04 Dec Pip expresses her reservations and Lynda is in demand.
05 Dec Clarrie laments on the past and Josh’s plans gather pace.
06 Dec There’s a shock for Helen while Pat has gifts on her mind.

08 Dec Helen gets a surprise and Emma saves the day.
09 Dec Tracy’s card is marked and there’s congratulations for Pip.
10 Dec Robert gets a scare and Neil makes a tragic discovery.
11 Dec David gets fired up and Neil makes his case.
12 Dec Tony makes a mistake and Helen’s feeling loved up.
13 Dec David makes an intervention and the rewilders are thrown into disarray.


o god


Erratum: for ‘disarray’ read ‘the poo lagoon’.

Phoebe sounds positively infantile and I ache to slap her.


Oh, yuck.


Even worse, or as bad, at any rate:

there’s congratulations for Pip


Don’t say she’s up the duff again.
Although that might be marginally preferable to the rewilding bollocks getting some land. Women do still die in childbrith, after all, although the odds are disappointingly low.



Please not a romance for Hellqueen

Our septic tank is not able to take my barfing to that extent


I think it’s Lee. That’s the 'blast from the (not so distant) past. She’ll explain all and he’ll … oh, never mind, don’t want to think about it.


“You’re the winner of the annual Aren’t I Wonderful In Every Way Award – again!”




Hannah has been eaten by the pigs?


Better - Soosan has, etc