One-liners to March 24

06 Mar There’s mortifying news for Tracy while Alice is in party mode.
07 Mar Amy has a mountain to climb and Oliver loses his temper.
08 Mar Neil spills the beans while Tracy picks up the pieces.
09 Mar Kate’s feeling competitive and Chris is not impressed.
10 Mar Susan’s put in an awkward position and there’s a new beginning for Phoebe.

13 Mar Jim receives an unexpected gift and there’s a life or death emergency for Kirsty.
14 Mar There’s a shock for Chris and Roy seeks professional advice.
15 Mar Brian struggles to keep control and Tony receives a surprising proposition.
16 Mar Justin fears the worst and Fallon reaches out.
17 Mar It’s a big day for Harrison and tension mounts at the shop.

20 Mar Jazzer receives bad news and Tony finds himself the subject of criticism.
21 Mar Alice is stunned by a shocking admission and Alan is worried about a family member.
22 Mar Chris is left reeling and the scales fall from Tracy’s eyes.
23 Mar Brian joins the debate and Lily jumps to conclusions.
24 Mar There’s devastation at the vicarage and Lily makes a surprising confession.


Scarcely a novel experience for the poor sod

Jolly good. Although unless a UXB has suddenly become an XB, it won’t have been laid sufficiently waste for my tastes.
‘Alan rediscovers that his daughter has a sex life’ could be grim and involve parsnip lasagne and stroking.
‘Alan discovers his daughter’s mangled remains’ would be far more bearable. Who had the mangle last, we ask? Good on 'em anyway.


[shifty look]
Must’ve been some other bird. Probably a duck. Never trust a duck.