Exactly how much did Helen have to do with the cheese that won last year? As I recall it was Johnny who had the idea of entering, and Pat actually made any batches that could have been judged; Helen was not very busy elsewhere at the time.
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[quote=âjoe, post:1, topic:520â]
Exactly how much did Helen have to do with the cheese that won last year?
[/quote]I would like to say âthe square root of fuck-allâ but it depends on the maturing period of this particular variety of Rotted Bovine Lactation. She was banged up in April, the food awards were a couple of months later (well, this year they were. The thought of checking Lowfield tonight is too much for me). So she might have made the cheese in question but the turning and affining and so on would have been down to Pat.
But then a few short weeks ago we heard some reference to the scrawny drama queen making an extra batch or something*, wrt to the awards. So I donât think they can have it both ways.
*presumably she needed a lie-down afterwards and someone else to watch the children. For once.
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Well, quite. Unless itâs matured for at least two years (and the timescale for her first pig-bound batch suggests very much otherwise) she cannot have been responsible for both.
Just had a dig back - 2002 was the year it was introduced:
Tuesday 14th May
âŚan opportunity for Tom to report on Helenâs improved mood and her resolve to try cheese-making again, this time with the help of Ann Baxter.
Thursday 12th September
Itâs the launch date for Helenâs cheese in the shop
So less than four months between thinking about trying again, doing further research / training and having a product on the shelf. Sounds like the turnaround is fairly quick, with little reserve stock; this is supported by the JIT production schedule that seems to be in place. In that case, itâs unlikely that Helen had anything to do with the batch that won last year.
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She thought up the recipe? UmâŚ
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Stilton, Colton Bassett reckons, is ripe for eating at around 12 weeks, Shropshire Blue, 6-8 weeks (hmmm. They are the experts but it does seem a little cruel to take it away from its friends at 6 weeks). So unless this is a cheese on an entirely new pattern. then the first award-winning batch is highly unlikely to have been the work of Helenâs own fair uncalloused hands. She wasnât exactly doing much constructive in the run up to stabnight so it seems fair to assume it was Pat, start to finish.
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Not very busy? She was extremely busy. Watching butterflies and robins, not to mention patronising Kaz.
Actually, it always made me laugh when she worked in the garden at the mother and baby unit and said something to the effect that obviously they would assign her that job. I thought âobviously?â When have we ever heard of her getting her hands dirty? Iâm sure those carrots were scrubbed within an inch of their lives (by Tony, probably) before ever she consented to arrange them so beautifully in the shop.
What a bummer she got the award âafter all sheâs been throughâ. Obviously the makers of the lamb burgers hadnât suffered enough or at any rate so obviously.
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Bloody? Yes. Dirty? Never.
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But no, that was the extraordinary thing. She stabbed someone at least twice, with enough force to penetrate his lungs, using an ordinary kitchen knife, and didnât cut herself in the process as far as we know. She neither washed her hands, nor had anyone remark on the blood on them.
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I remember laughing out loud when Kirsty remarked that Helen had blood on her sleeve (or something like that) thinking âwell, I should jolly well think soâ.
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To be fair, I was expecting slime, or possibly acid.
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Rob was weltering in his gore, wasnât he? And a good thing too.
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