Flamethrower is suitably amusing.
A few thousand gallons of liquid nitrogen, even more so.
And there’s always the good old anti-tank rocket.
Or pass the word that they said rude things about me Bruvver.
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I’m sure T’Wells has witnessed such a thing.
But THIS may help …
I believe I did say I had been a rascal as a child. ‘Misled’ is maybe a better word.
I once got cajoaled into shoving a potato up the exhaust of a Panda Car while we were busily playing "knock-a-door run’.
The car put it’s engine on. After a small grumble the most enormous bang was followed by the potato wizzing past my ear at quite a rate of knots and slamming into a garage door.
The exhaust had split at the tip … somewhat ‘Top Cat’ like
Inside the vehicle were two static, staring, shocked rozzers and quite a bit of blue smoke
(I’m hoping enough time has passed and there’s no evidence).
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While generally I’m a simple and straightforward sort of Gus and thus naturally inclined to the anti-tank rocket method, there is a certain poetic elegance about the liquid nitrogen solution which greatly appeals.
[Clickety] [Amazonity] [Liquid Nitrogen, tankers of]
Bugger. ‘Pricey’ isn’t the word.
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Start a rumour of Food Standards inspections?
Start a rumour of no Food Standards inspections, just before the inspections happen?
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Cunning, that.
Or just shove some Very Large Potatoes (damn: new potato season is upon us) down its organ of noise? It’s the racket I object to, mainly. The thought of happy kiddiwinks gets me down a bit too, mind…
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It wouldn’t work, they keep the engine running to run the machines 
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Curses. Foiled again.
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It would work to muffle the b-awful noise, though, Marje dere. Possibly. I didn’t expect it to cause a catastrophic failure of the entire organism. nah, I still think nitrogen is the way forward,
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Rocket Propelled Grenades (anti tank weapons) are a bit excessive for ice cream vans
I suggest caltrops a plenty
Scattered liberally in the van’s path
See it with 4 punctured wheels
And as added pleasure numerous little angels with punctured feets knees and hands
They have the beauty of being anonymous and not big enuff to take prints off
Snigger!
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Not enough, Twellsy: I am aiming for huge and joyous destruction. If there happened to be collateral damage in the way of a hole in the ground noticably bigger than the local potholes (some of which have mammoths stranded at the bottom, I suggest it be preserved as a memorial with a bleedin’ great Flake stuffed in it.
useful to know about caltrops and prints, though. Although is your info current? The forensic blighters keep coming up with stuff.
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The joyous screaming of gluttonous children would soothe any tarts wish for damaging the Queens highways
And the fact that recovery of the van and new tyres and stock is ruinous expensive just makes the howl of the ice cream vendor sweeter
I do like a simple plan which makes repeat offenders highly unlikely
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(yawnity)
Morning all.
Should be a bit less Orribly Ot today. Maybe even some rain tonight.
yardarm
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Wet and cold here
Who stole our Spring?
I want it back please
Bacon butties on table
Fresh bread in the oven
I will be sulking about weather by the range and daring anyone who wants it turned off to try it with me guarding it!
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16deg here, breezy & lots of pollen
Sneezes
Carinthia.xx
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Something around twenty here, and absolutely no idea when these people coming for the night will arrive. Nor whether they prefer one double or two single duvets, so I can’t make the bed… I did ask…
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2 Singles is usually the preferred German option, Fishy
Carinthia.xx
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I’m in agreement with that Chatelaine and would proceed accordingly.
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Drat. I went to the trouble of finding the summer weight double. And you are almost certainly right…
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We had 2 singles on the double bed at the caravan - Austrian/German friends would have been horrified at the thought of sharing
It’s actually a sensible idea, especially if 1 person is a duvet -hogger
Carinthia.xx
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Sorry, o Fish. Mind you, if they didn’t respond when asked for their preference, one might very well say, or at least think, ‘tough!’…
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