These many many cars speeding through the village (or is it one car frequently speeding through the village) is a re-run of a campaign Lynda had in 1996 to try to get sped bumps or anything at all to slow down the traffic through Ambridge, which ended with no official action and Lynda getting the parish council to put up “traffic-calming” notices, which were then vandalised or removed.
Very reassuring that so little changes in twenty years, and very like a real village.
A pleasing touch of villagesimilitude, eh?
The big question is whether there is just going to be a traffic calming campaign with Lynda dragooning the rest of the village into participating whether they want to or not (see also pantos, passim) or whether we will be treated to some actual damage or death being dealt.
At least it might keep her off Brian’s back. Funny how once the land had been sold to Brian she suddenly got terribly concerned about her orchids/meadow species and started nagging her host somewhat rudely (Lynda has appalling manners imo) yet when the land was in the hands of the Wicked Moustache-twirling Developer King, she didn’t bat a (crepey, unsubtly made-up) eyelid.
Yes, that was definitely a bit strange. Perhaps she knew perfectly well that Borchester Land would not care a single damn for her opinion, whereas Brian might just possibly be shamed into thinking about the diversity of the plant life.
My experience of this sort of thing in East London was that the council would call a meeting of “local residents” to discuss whether traffic restrictions should be introduced - at 11am on a Wednesday, so that anyone with a job wouldn’t be able to be there, which of course excluded most of the locals with cars. Then, guess what, the mood of the meeting (all the old dodderies) would be overwhelmingly in favour of speed bumps, road closures, parking restrictions, whatever else the council wanted. Democracy!
It nearly worked; she wanted a sleeping policeman and eventually got a dozy one.
Last year, I was browsing through Lowfield catching up on years I had never listened to and was struck by the way they were re-cycling plots so I jotted down a few notes. Can anyone think of any more?
Ambridge twenty years ago:
The traffic thundering through and trying very hard to hit pedestrians, other drivers and cyclists alike seems to have changed from what seemed to be a particular car (when Rob was on the loose) to various cars - including Lily, and yesterday was a lorry. Makes you wonder if they need a Bypass.
No question, considering Pip’s supposed to be the “beating heart”.
The traffic thundering through the village and Lynda wanting Something To Be Done is a rerun of something in 1996.
Does anyone have any idea whether the ‘letter with a warning because you were nabbed by an amateur speedwatch vigilante posse rather than Plod’ is something that would happen? The practice - it’s not statutory - is, I believe, to allow 10% of the speed limit plus a margin of 2mph before you collect a ticket/fine/get done/whatever. If the Darrington limit is 30mph, she’s bang to rights. And if it’s 20mph, she should be in leg irons by now.
I wondered about that. I think that when it is amateurs with a speed gun it is simply used to warn people with.
The 10% thing is discretionary, and won’t necessarily apply when it is a speed camera. 33mph up a steep hill while trying not to have to change down into second gear got me ticketed a few months back.
Also worth considering, most car speedometers already read about 5% high - because the law requires that they never read low, and since they’re tricky mechanical devices they’re adjusted to be on the safe side. So the speed you think you’re doing is likely to be faster than the speed you’re really doing. This is easy to check nowadays with a GPS receiver, which is usually rather more accurate.
That was very bad luck, Fantafish. I don’t drive, btw, so you can all feel that tiny bit safer.
Meanwhile, here’s hoping Lynda ends up under a speeding juggernaut (do they still do them, or are they just lorries now?). Either that, or a very sloo-o-ow combine.
Late OH got caught speeding coming downhill in a VW Caravette
The policeman couldn’t believe it either, & was most sympathetic…
Carinthia.xx
“Gosh! Really? Does the speed get put on the summons? My son will have to stop making fun of this car if it was doing ninety…”
you’re a bad fish, you are. And there’s no need to preen your scales like that, tsk.
It’s probably mites. Or limescale.
It was a long time ago - certainly before these ‘speed awareness’ courses, & 3 points on his licence (under the old rules).
Carinthia.xx
I am something of an expert on the speed awareness stuff. Each course is different: they don’t want you to be bored…
Oops!
Actually, 2 people I know who have been on them said they were really boring…
A friend of ours had to go on a booze-awareness course & said that that was awful & that the other participants were too. She had to flee her house after midnight when her demented husband hit her, and, in her shock & panic & nightie, she grabbed her handbag, car keys & took orff. She had totally temporarily forgotten about the 2 or 3 brandies she had consumed
The police were very kind to her, but it’s still drink-driving
Carinthia.xx
Cor. I hope she was all right in the long term.
The rushing madly from the house, leaping madly into someone’s car and driving madly off in all directions that Helen did when Little Henry let on about boarding school was a mere nothing by comparison.