The Man Burns

seems to have a strange work-pattern.

He is always free to captain the cricket team on a Sunday and run nets of a weekday evening; and yet one Sunday he was delayed by attending a RTI and they had to start without him.

Either he is on duty, in which case he had no business agreeing to participate at a cricket match at that time, or he isn’t, in which case he should not be delayed by police work.

I don’t think he is in the police force at all: he knows nothing about police procedure as regards questioning minors or making arrests, he doesn’t behave as the regulations lay down that he should in the matter of arrests, cautions and letting people out of police cells unilaterally, he behaves in a manner which is unbefitting an officer of the law as regards personal integrity, and he doesn’t seem to work shifts. Oh, and he isn’t aware of police mortgages, as far as we know, though he may mention them at some point I suppose. (If it were me it would be the first thing I thought of if I wanted to buy a house and were in the police force.)

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Well, it’s entirely usual that when a major incident happens people will be called in from what should be their time off.

However, I think he’s probably a police walt. He buys the gear, dresses up and acts the part, because the real thing wouldn’t take him. Even as a Very Special Constable.

https://www.arrse.co.uk/arrse_wiki/index.php?title=Police_and_Special_Constable_Walts

(Caution: this site is not polite.)

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I’ll take Not Polite as a recommendation, I think.

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Meanwhile, he clearly wanted to be “Third Degree” Burns but didn’t have the Latin, so instead he’s “Full Thickness” Burns.

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And! Rather conclusively, I think… When he’s in his cricketing whites, he never wears his police helmet.

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I’ve said it before - he’s a stripper

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I don’t want to think about that too much to be honest, joe.

groogh.

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Paint or wallpaper?

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Look at the evidence. Every female in Borsetshire was drooling over him at the WI; do we believe the story about the “talk” he gave? And he wasn’t exactly fazed by Doreen ogling him the shower; I reckon his only objection was that he wasn’t getting paid.

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But be fair. If Borsetshire is anything like Ambridge. It won’t have any females with IQs greater than their shoe size.

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How high an IQ do they need to, er, cop (sorry) an eyeful of him brandishing his truncheon?

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I was thinking more from the point of him having

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< smug grin >

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Deserved, joe

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Well done you!

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He’s consistent, at least. Has he ever arrested anyone who isn’t related to Fallon?

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It amused me that Fallon alluded to the same thing!

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It just took the SWs four years to notice

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I wonder if it will occur to Burns that the previous arrest for selling drugs was also at Lower Loxley. Hmm … LL, drug capital of Borsetshire perhaps? Will Lizzie be carted off in cuffs?

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Wasn’t that Freddie buying stuff from Wayne?

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