The Moon Under Water


Orwell’s ideal and not-quite-existent pub. Not a wholly convincing name, I have always felt.
Imaginary pub names and - if desired - their peculiar attributes.

The Spatchcocked Eagle.
Beer - flat.
Good fried squid on the bar menu (aye, a tale does hang thereby…)


I think it was an old Steve Bell cartoon that featured The Driven Drinker


The Old Phoenix
Refuge, for one night only, for characters from any alternate history whatsoever; a certain amount of cross-breeding may occur.
Excellent beer and ale, hard to identify by origin, good food (served by Wenches, if you’re lucky), comfortable beds.
Can only be located if you are in a crisis.


The Goat and Gibbous Moon

Something of a local pub for local people, but they’ll be glad to share their quaint customs with you if you buy a round (bring shillings, the prices haven’t been updated for a while). Avoid the shepherd’s pie.


I’d quite like a bar, old fashioned, lots of wood & handled pots which is called “Does it look Like We Sell Lager ?”


And where if you ask for shandy the barman looks at you thoughtfully and says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve cocktails”?


Here’s a Victorian pub reconstruction from the Museum of London:


There is a pub in Tooting which has a lot of etched glass, and tiles on the walls in places and an ornamental tiled floor in places. I can’t remember its name, though. Next pub along on the left from The Castle on Tooting Bec High Street aka the A24; possibly the King’s Head.

Definitely the King’s Head.