What is Jakob for?

The Archers
1

To make Alistair look interesting, by comparison?1
To make Adam look cheerful, by comparison?
A replacement for Ian, who decides to stay in Bulgaria and bring up the “beh-beh” with Lexi?
A new squeeze for Shula?2
Or simply to punish the listeners?

Any other ideas?





1They tried the same with Harry, by inflicting Rhys on us. It didn’t work then, either.
2It might actually cheer Alistair up to realise she dumped him because he wasn’t miserable enough.3
3Though the SWs would no doubt like to think having Al & Jaknot locking horns over the Blessed Unvirgin Shula4 created lots of dramatic potential.5
4As if anyone would.
5It wouldn’t, even by their definition. Two tedious characters. shouting slightly raising their voices in a mutually monosyllabic monotone…

5 Likes
2

Love-interest for Helen?
Obstetrician to the blasted Montbéliardes / calf killer ditto?
Susan’s ultimate challenge and eventual Nemesis?

5 Likes
3

“No, she obviously likes you more.”
“No, no, I insist, I’ve clearly had my chance with her.”

Wot ANOTHER one?

6 Likes
4

He meets the two chief criteria, being male and breathing

5 Likes
5

Interesting word, is that anything like the operation Mrs. Wallace Simpson underwent before being matched to HRH Eddie VIII? (by all accounts it was quite a major project, sort of like the Chunnel but the other way around!)

4 Likes
7

Believing the Daily Mail’s inventions now is fairly strange. Believing the Daily Mail’s inventions from its “hurrah for the Blackshirts” days seems wilfully silly.

Also, you were quoting Joe not me.

2 Likes
8

My deletion was of what I thought was a duplicate post (of my most recent), but the editor seemed to have failed in some way (sound familiar?). No offense meant from this end! :kissing_heart:

2 Likes
9

Oh, the “unvirgin” word was Joe’s? I learned of the Bessie Simpson rumour many years ago (…not sure whence it came, but I think it was this side of t’Pond, where I’ve lived for the past thirty-five odd years (…and the even ones too!)) :smirk:

(I just remembered, I’m sure it must have been in Kitty Kelley’s wonderful book “The Royals”)

3 Likes
10

What’s Johnny done now?

3 Likes
11

Everything, I expect.

4 Likes
12

No operation necessary for unvirgin*. “Re–” might be a bit more of a challenge…




*Apart from the obvious, which does not in my experience require medical training and which she underwent many years ago

4 Likes
13

… that’s as maybe, but his CreamCrackers are pretty damned good! (…and they can still be found on this side of t’Pond!)

3 Likes