Why is David…

…giving Alice a driving lesson?

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We-ell, I was hoping it was to provide a head-on fatal collision with the abbatoir lorry, but it turns out it was to facilitate Lily giving Pip the benefit of her relationship and life insights.

I wonder what she would sound like without any teeth?


Because Elizabeth asked David and Kenton to give her children driving practice (not lessons really) on account of their having so much more spare time than she does, and instead of telling her to naff off, they had a farm and a pub to run, they said they would.

Lily has a voice which if it were a face I would want to slap, and no teeth could only be an improvement. And it’s so likely that anyone would confide in someone who tells them to confide in her, as opposed to telling her to eff off and mind her own effing business…


I suppose consciousness of the Pargetter twins’ fatherless orphling status makes David and Kenton more inclined to take on this kind of thing.


Particularly given the reason for their being fatherless.


wot, gravity?


What were you thinking of, Joe? That David still feels guilty for the ‘man or mouse’ remark? I wonder if he still remembers. Kenton never showed any sign of blaming himself for the banner being his idea, not as far as I remember. But then he wouldn’t, would he? Not that I’m implying either David or Kenton were responsible for Nigel’s death, because I don’t think they were.


Kenton did say something about it having been his idea to put the banner up, and how bad that made him feel, on 7th January 2011, but the person he told was Jolene (with whom he had taken refuge because his family were as unhappy as he was and not giving him any special sympathy) and she immediately told him that he mustn’t blame himself, and that he shouldn’t dwell on it, and took him for a walk up Lakey Hill which completely cheered him up. This was before those two became a couple; I think it may have been the start of it, in fact, but can’t be bothered to check.

(If they could bottle Lakey Hill as a cure for depression they’d make a million: it never fails.)


Oh, I’d forgotten that. I think Jolene was right: Kenton could never have imagined that two middle aged men would go clambering up on a roof on a dark, frosty and windy night. Nor could I quite believe it, either! Though I think one could possibly explain it as a sort of summit madness. We’ve been through this before and it’s clear to me that David and Nigel were each winding the other up at different points during the disastrous expedition to the roof and it could just as easily have been David who had fallen to his death and Nigel left feeling terrible.

Lakey Hill didn’t quite sort Heather out, but perhaps that was because she didn’t sprint up it often enough.


It must have taken them a long time to get there, after all.

Could have been quite interesting, really. Though doubtless they’d have turned Nigel as nasty as everyone else; at least he escaped that.


I assumed it also “worked” because it is the dogging and shagging centre of Ambridge and probably Borsetshire.
If only someone had the nouse to open Ye Olde Horney Chilli Shack at the foot of Lakey Hill, they’d make a mint. (After Dinner Mint).