If you go down to the woods today
You’re sure of an upset tum
If you go down to the woods today
You’d better not drink the rum
For every Grundy still above ground
Will be there dancing round and round
Today’s the day the Grundies have their picnic.
Picnic time for Horrobins…
Well, at least afternoon tea with the crumblies makes a change from Grey Gables Lunch. Lots of buns put down in an Emotional Moment and then forgotten when they mysteriously vanish. Even if all the food is getting contaminated by kefir shrapnel. (Don’t you people recognise a nanopocalypse before it eats your faces off?)
A cherry tree planted on ashes? Won’t that be a bit too alkaline? Roses would be much happier.
Meanwhile it’s Honey Sampling Day so I am a sticky birdie.
A gooseberry bush would love all that potash…
But potash a good potassium source, and cherry trees can benefit from additional potassium.
You know what happens when there’s a scratching fight in a pub? (Apart from me bruvver wanting to sell tickets.)
Drinks get neglected, that’s wot happens.
Dear me, finished already, you must have been thirstier than you thought you were.
I must admit. I’m warming to your bruvver’s way of doing things.
Squirrel-proof bird feeder, eh? More like bird-proof squirrel feeder. But it yields to well-wielded dunnockbars ‘n’ beaks. (Dunnockbars is like crowbars only a bit smaller.)
As does That Cat.
Meanwhile, found a stash of apple tarts with one bite out of each of 'em. I’ve learned a fing or two since I wuz an egg, and that’s one of the Signs: Steer Clear.
I gave up bird feeders when the local rats learned to climb up to them.
I keep an ancient, multi-species, berry-producing hedge in bird-friendly order. I even had it professionally laid after it recovered enough from being butchered by a builder. And I’ve planted some more.
The local rats learned to climb ours, and we fitted a rat-preventer; it’s a very large plastic flowerpot-saucer (about twenty inches across) with a hole drilled in the middle the right size for the pole of the feeder, fixed upside-down with gaffer tape would round the shaft to hold it about two feet from the ground; I did actually watch a squirrel, which had been in the habit of helping itself to food from the feeder, make its usual run and climb up the pole only to hit the underside of the anti-rat saucer head-on at speed and knock itself silly. It staggered around on the patio for several minutes, and fell off the wall when it was leaving, and apart from being slightly worried about it I laughed heartily because it was so funny.
We also hung plant-pot-saucers under the actual feeders (one for fat-balls and the other for grain) so that the habit that Some Sparrows have of throwing seed everywhere was thwarted and the seed didn’t get onto the ground. We haven’t seen any rats since that was done.
Call that a flower and produce? Rock-hard frangipane, dubious Bulgarian pastry stuff, and… what? Pah, I’d have been better off round the back of the Piece of Cod.
[quote=“Fanta, post:109, topic:437”]I did actually watch a squirrel, which had been in the habit of helping itself to food from the feeder, make its usual run and climb up the pole only to hit the underside of the anti-rat saucer head-on at speed and knock itself silly. It staggered around on the patio for several minutes, and fell off the wall when it was leaving[/quote]Now THAT actually did make me “Laugh Out Loud”.
Slim pickings at the Bridge Farm Café (with accent). Someone really ought to tell them that quinoa is not a food, it’s a thing you feed to food. And you have to dodge the Daft Young Bat (who will presumably be promoted to Daft Old Bat when one of the present incumbents finally deigns to die). Of course she’s not going to do the hard work part; she’s made the offer and got the credit for making it, so her objectives are achieved.
I found the spare apples. I think they may have bin a bit old. Whee tiddly tseep.
Leftover cake, abandoned in haste as a Crucial Realisation was happening, just makes everything better.
Large warm Gregg’s sausage-roll left for you on plate just inside open window, Sparrow.
Enjoy!
In this thread I only eat near Ambridge. I’ll have that sossinge roll in the Cellar, ta.
I’d offer to deliver it, but it’s a long flight and I might get hungry half-way and stop to eat it.
Ah, Uneaten Speshul Apology Meal! Me favourite! I applaud this trend.
Unless it’s Jill, 'cos I wouldn’t be able to fly after an Apology Casserole.
As Freddie and Noluthando share a spliff they hatch a plan to find something a bit stronger.
Er, didn’t people stop believing in that nonsense by about 1970?
Meanwhile if people will go leaving out mushrooms they have to expect them to be et oo whee whirly.
[Peggy]'s impressed when Noluthando plays her favourite Frank Sinatra track to her on her phone.
Gaw, impressing dozy old bats is easy money innit?
Meanwhile, wot have they done wiv all the leftover food from the Ball? Enquiring sparrers need to know.
[quote=“HedgeSparrow, post:118, topic:437”]
wot have they done wiv all the leftover food from the Ball?
[/quote]It’s gone to the Duckboard Sister’s restaurant silly.
Waste not, want not.
Important life lesson: nobody watches CCTV without a packet of crisps. One of nature’s laws or something. And when they get distracted they leave 'em behind.
Another important life lesson: nobody likes a grass.