The introduction of goats is good. I am exceedingly jealous, but will remind myself of this at stupid o’clock tomorrow and ask myself if having to go out and milk a pair of disorientated goats is what I feel like doing. The answer, I can promise you, will be ‘No’. But goats is lovely.
And - though I don’t and never have liked the character so don’t blacken mine by saying I am softening - that was more like the ‘old’ Lynda. And I was so very relieved the poor things got milked.
Tony, if you did an impulse buy of goats, could you not have also done a slightly considered Amazon swoop for “How To Drive A Goat” or similar manuals…
Anyway, I must not carp. Goats are Goood.
4 Likes
He assumed they were like funny-shaped cows, didn’t he.
I have to say it: giving a busy woman who has just taken on a lot of voluntary work a pair of goats might not be the best idea in the world, and if they are anything like Goats I Have Known, the BFNI will have a full-time job on their collective hands.
2 Likes
Now did I or did I not say that goats were good? Case. Rested.
4 Likes
I decided against goats after borrowing a couple when they kept on jumping on to the window cills. Whatever (downstairs) room you were in sodding goats would appear with their strange eyes and needy bleat. They wanted to be house goats. Sorry girls.
4 Likes
I used to threaten to put the bedroom down to grass and miniature goats. This might be why I spent a long time single.
"Needy bleats’ is lovely in the same way as is the Plathian ‘hard, marbly baaas*’
*haven’t checked the spelling; you get the gist.
4 Likes
I have often felt that Rentagoat would be a useful service: they turn up with a van, wrestle the goat into your garden, leave it there until it has eaten everything, then take it away again.
Haynes don’t seem to do a Goat Manual; this is the best I can find.
4 Likes
The favourite food of Goats I have Known was Prize Rosebushes, with ground-elder coming a very poor second.
4 Likes
Absolutely. Hello goat, here’s some weeds. Thanks, but those paeonies look delish!
5 Likes
Oh, a goat started eating a navy & white polka-dot skirt of mine while I was still in it.
My parents realised I could properly read when we went to a fair of some description. There was a wee notice regarding goats. I pointed out to them at great length that we were moving and would have a 'normous garden with obvious goat room. They said yes, and sure it would be lovely for goats but the goats belonged to the goat-person and would be sad, etc, so no, dear. ‘But it says ‘Goats for Sale’’, wailed the small Gus. It did 'n all.
6 Likes
My father invented a horse allergy when we moved to a house with plenty of land. Parents can be shockingly unaccommodating.
4 Likes
Symptoms of the allergy probably began and ended with crushing pains in the wallet region, Marj dere. Aye, parents can be complete and utter disappointments, can’t they? And why spend all that money on Ladybird books and so much time if they are going to be surprised that you can read?
On reflection, it might not have been the reading they were so surprised at, more the passion for goats and the logical argument. And the tears and fury.
I am goat-deprived, wibble. It has deformed my character.
5 Likes
I refer you to Philip Larkin. Insult to injury, lawn cutting became a large part of my summer existence. I ask you, would the lawns have all needed cutting had we a pony? No, they wouldn’t. My parents suffered logic failures too.
4 Likes
I recommend chickens.
3 Likes
Joe, be honest now: chickens are not really all that like goats. Are they.
he thought as he started, "Oh, dear and oh, dear!
I’ll be lonely to-morrow with nobody here!"
So he made in his note-book a couple of notes:
"I must first find some chickens"
and “No, I mean goats .”
from “The Old Sailor” by AA Milne. I was shocked to find copies of this poem on the internet which did not contain the whole thing, and didn’t bother to say they were incomplete. Tsk.
http://joannasfood.blogspot.co.uk/2008/09/old-sailor-by-aa-milne.html seems to have it all.
4 Likes
Not the same, but I was trying to think of a practical alternative. I admit I may be a tad biased…
4 Likes
Only the teeniest weeniest bit, though.
4 Likes
Sadly, neither would actually be practical at all. Garden is tiny - yet amazingly overgrown: think Sleeping Beauty if her alarm-prince had failed to go off - and far too small for a goat. And I am on a fox trunk route and would never know a peaceful moment again with chickens to worry about.
Poor deprived Gus.
3 Likes
I can sympathise. We lost one to a fox a few months ago; a new arrival who contrived to get out of the coop and wouldn’t go back in. Next morning all we found was a few feathers. If we didn’t already have somewhat of an overabundance of roos, I’d be tempted to go for a Brahma; a fox would think twice before taking one on…
3 Likes
Crikey Moses. He’s huuuuuge.
I don’t think the neighbours would take all that kindly to the cockadoodledoo thing, either, sadly. Oh well, Imaginary goats it will have to be ;- )
4 Likes
Apparently Brahmas as a rule have very gentle, affectionate natures, and are quite happy to sit on your lap…
3 Likes