That Fish has made a tuna bake (or a rather nicer equivalent), and meringues but no custard.
One of us probably ought to stab ourselves or the other one, but I’m too full of tuna.
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Glad to hear it, Hedgers dere. Don’t get carried away. You probably have no idea of the damage a meringue can do in expert hands.
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Rhubarb & custard. Not crumble though.
… & extremely tarty it was too. Took the first layer of enamel off my teeth & my eyelid flickered.
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Since we don’t have Miss Janie with us at the moment to play the part of Henwy, it’s a bit difficult to re-enact Spoon Night at Janie Towers so we might confine ourselves to singing, ‘Stabby, stabby, stabby, stab, stabby, stabby, stat-stab’ while chopping the veg. On the other hand, Henwy could be ‘noises off’. One must adapt.
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“Aww-wite” noises off.
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Done! You’ve got the part!
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From which I can only assume that you are a lizard being fed an inadvisable diet. There is help out there. Call ‘Reptile Line’.
Worked for Rob 
Not that I would think of equating you as a pair, you understand. And why do reptiles get such a bad press anyway? My suggestion to acquire an office Monitor Lizard was turned down flat. I still wonder why, sometimes 
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If you like lizards’ scales, take a look at a pangolin some time. They are beautifully articulated.
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Wanna pangolin. Very wanna pangolin.
It struck me at some ludicrous hour of the morning that it would be a wonderful name for a gin. Pangolin - the gin for perfect articulation.
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I wish I liked Gin! I’d buy that just to have on the bar, mind.
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And why not? We can have it as the house special in the cellar.
And of course, it would be ideal for sloth gin…
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Good idea, joe!
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Missed the date, but just had a tuna sandwich and may even have a spoonful of custard - sadly no apple pie from Fallon or Kirsty. Cheers!
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The anniversary of Stabnight is being celebrated on the 4th April this year, 7pm for 7:15.
Dress: grey jogging bottoms/blood-soaked chinos and sweater
Catfood pasta and a complimentary Bloody Helen* will be served to all guests on arrival but please do contribute your own themed dishes and beverages.
Black Marias at 12:30 am.
*why, Fumblebuttock cider with tomato juice and a kefir top: ’ s a classic. Oh all right, you don’t have to drink it. Enquire of that Sparrer re gin. .
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Hedgers, is there any of the Pangolin Gin left after last year?
And here’s a socking great bucketful of Borsetshire Blue Dip. Those sheep who survived the initial application remained completely parasite-free for a full six months (to the great envy of Mr and Mrs A. Archer of Bridge Farm).
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The Dip is supposed to be applied externally, I think.
One armoured cask of Pangolin Gin, tapped and ready for tonight. Alas, I shall be out.
Also a pangolin just 'cos.
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Now I call that handsome. We’ll save a tiny pint or so for your return.
Awww, the cuddlesome pangolin. Concentrated scaly loveliness
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Lowfield for Sunday, 3rd April, 2016, ends with the words “He’s dead… I killed him”.
So it wasn’t 4th April after all, and we have missed it. Bah.
(But we can celebrate Helen’s initial incarceration!)
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I know wot we heard, dere Fish, but I thought some piece or other of prod team propaganda had 4th April as the date of the attempted murder for which she was charged. But yes, the Incarceration of Helen is worth celebrating. Sackcloth and ashes to be worn on the date of her acquittal and release, whenever that was…
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Arrested on 4 April 2016. Not Guilty on 11 November 2016.
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