Please…

Make it stop!!

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There there, it’s all over until 19.02½ tomorrow…

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Tell us exactly where it hurts… or what was causing the discomfort. ‘All of it’ doesn’t give one much to go on, after all. There are shades even of of ‘excruciating’

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Sorry - it’s hard to type while screaming…

The complete bolleaux with Akneejerk and co, then the tedious Plague Farm smugfest. The dialogue was so stilted they must have needed oxygen.

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You mean you didn’t enjoy Lily, Aniseed and J’lene? Well, shame on you, for obviously you don’t believe iin women’s right to play cricket for Ambridge… (what ‘right’? Entitled madams)
No, I didn’t enjoy them either. All would be improved by having their teeth knocked down their throats by a well aimed Gunn & Moore, Lily most particularly.

As for the ghastly Bridge Farm pair. A scriptie suddenly remembered - or more likely had the task dumped upon him/her from Above - the Nuffield Bollocks.

Fermented bollocks about covers it. Gah!

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PS: Can’t Tom have some sort of accident when the weaners are a bit bigger and just get eaten by his pigs. Ideally with Henwy in tow?
Something a little more baroque is needed for his hideous sister.

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What was that load of old tosh between Wednesday and Pugsley Addams, in tonight’s epi? I’m getting a bit fed up of these aimless conversations about some esoteric aspect of farming, between two characters who have never shown the slightest interest in debating farming, previously.

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I regret we’ve got to that time of year when TA. is on too early.

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I suggest listening to future episodes in the Cellar.

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Hellqueen is spookily serene, these days, isn’t she? No problem you’re late, Tom …

Oh and another thing, anyone noticed the storywriters seem to be under instructions to account for Jack’s whereabouts at all times to show a) Helen can keep track of her baby and b) no, no, of course she isn’t inconveniencing anyone by dumping the brat, they are queuing up to coo over him. Lilian?? Cooing over a baby? Give me strength!

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Lurch has been shouting at Pugsley a bit. Meanwhile, Thing has found gainful employment scraping off rust.

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Isn’t that against Bored Roolz? It would be somewhere I can think of.

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Not just Jack.

I think we have to assume that Henry has been handed to the Ambridge Offspring & Orphan Police
(A-Oop) and is as I write, in one of the BBC Homes for children they don’t know what to do with, along with Ruauri, Kia-ora and assorted other PITAs to await return at around the age of 17.

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Are there no chimneys they can be sent up?

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Maybe the Baster has filed for custard.

To be honest I think it’d win.

If the authorities asked Henwee he’d be sure to say “aw-wite”.

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Yes, but why the rush? He’ll still be talking like that when he’s seventeen.

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Just a thought…

The Okinawans make Sake, with a snake in it.
The Mexicans make Tequila, with worms, Scorpions, Snakes etc.

What does Toby put in his gin? Henry! We’ve got a job for you.

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A cow hoof.

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Nah, User’s talking about Wee Henry I imagine.

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Or vice versa? There’s hardly a shortage, after all…

Incidentally, if you get offered a tequila with a worm in it, send it back. It’s mezcal that (occasionally) has a worm (actually, a caterpillar) and even that is of doubtful authenticity.

[Googles frantically for evidence…_]

https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/there-shouldnt-be-a-worm-in-your-tequila-bottle/

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