Oh werll, you need the services of Limpet Hospitality Skills Consultancy. Mates rates, bring yer own beer…
Gxx
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Holds out another empty glass
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Gannon then, Gus.
Soo xx
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As so often, the key is to think about the problem laterally:
How many fingers / hands can you do without?
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Memories of ISIHAC - completing greeting card verses:
An extension to your family
Grandparents you’ve become…
…Or as they say in Middlesbrough,
“Well done - you’re twenty-one!”
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I almost posted a rood limerick from darn sarf. Purely in retaliation, joe. It remains in my armoury.
Roland Rat returned to our garden, today. I supplied citronella and eucalyptus spray in the form of ‘Incognito’ anti-pest spray and the begga seems to have retreated. We have puddles of water in abundance and I have the feeling that Roland might be a lactating Rolanda, as the rat was very thirsty. I expect a delivery of citronella oil in the morn. We have lethal traps in the hive, but I’d rather push the problem onto someone else. Bad bee.
Soo xx
ETA Good nights, Cellarites.
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Not sure that I could cope with rats, Soo. They feature in 1 of my programme of 5 nightmares
Snakes are in another
Sigh
I think that we need an Pitcher or 3
Carinthia.xx
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I can’t cope with rats, either, Carinthia. We have had a sighting of one and intend nothing kindly towards it. Watch this space, if you dare 
Soo xxzz
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Might Brother/Sister Rat not be useful leverage in lobbying forra dog?
Just a thought…
Commiserations
Gxx
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Might be handy if your nightmares could be persuaded to eat each other.
[pourity] an nightcap forran Deserving Carinthia
annanother forran Undeserving Sparrer
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Phantasmophagy. Like it.
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Is there any other kind? I’m sure you know the traditional description of the form:
The Limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical
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Bacon butties ready
I am feeling like a wrung out dishcloth after a sleepless night
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The Limerick’s an art form complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex
It’s famous for virgins
And masculine urgin’s
And vulgar erotic effects
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For those eschewing bacon, how about a nice bowl of spinoza?
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Are you feeling well Gus?
Who eschews bacon?
Most cellarati chew bacon with alacrity
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No, luv: k e t c h u p.
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Brahn sauce!
yardarm
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Soft fried egg with a dash of Lingham’s chilli and garlic sauce are the best things to go with bacon!
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You are of course entitled to your opinion and your narsty egg.
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