So, who wants to help ... to take refuge in the Cellar?

Not The Archers
1646

vooooooosh!

[pourity] [pourity] [pourity] [pourity]

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1647

Can’t be arsed to dust the existing yardarm, so here is a new one. Yardaaaaaarm! Not before time, I reckon.

Didn’t tell you about the other morning, did I? I had had a truly lousy night and was sort of dozing late when I heard Rob Cowan say ‘You know, if you want to have your mother shot…’ and I thought, steady on there, old thing, that’s a little harsh. Took me quite a minute after waking to work out it was that incredibly annoying ‘brainteaser’ patch of the morning, and what the poor bloke had said was ‘if you know, or if you want to have another shot’ & etc…

Sometimes I worry

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1648

S’what we need on 'ere. Innit.

A daily brainteaser.

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1649

Frankly, dahling, I’d settle for a guaranteed daily brain. Can’t tease what’s not there.

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1650

I have been having one of those yawning days.

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1651

I wish I had one of those. You can’t get them around here.

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1652

Over-rated…

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1653

Pore fish. Strokes scales gingerly. Which for the record does not mean ‘rubs stingy raw ginger the wrong way up from the tail’, ok?
Care to join me in the Screaming Room?

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1654

All right, here’s an easy one. If the answer to 6 is 3; the answer to 12 is 6; but the answer to 10 is not 5… what is the answer to 8?

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1655

That’d be Five

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1656

‘Not today, thank you’ < Slam! >?

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1657

Nahh. It’s the relative improbability, of the first 26 stars in the Sirius constellation, divided by the individual magnitudes. Innit?

Any fule knoe that.

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1658

No astrotaurophysics. No dogs. No ball games. No throwing stones at this notice, either.

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1659

I went away and read 22 chapters of a Harry Potter fanfic in a despairing manner.

I am enjoying it a great deal more than I enjoyed the original, and so far, none of his friends has attacked Harry Potter viciously for no reason whatever except believing the worst of him for no reason, which I vaguely remember as having been a recurring theme at the beginning of each of the books…

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1660

Now, despairing fish are not a good thing to contemplate. They float belly-up in a parasuicidal fashion and thus get very sore bellies. Or are acshually dead, in which case the tend to make the air around them unpleasant really quite quickly.
I suggest you become a mer-person and get the fishly head down on a good oldfashioned pillow and sleep gently, for tomorrow is another day (aye the buggering things always are). You think you have it bad? I’m with Tom Waits ;- )

General good night-oh thoughts to all in need of them. Bless you and save you and so on.

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1661

One of the Hairy Plotter’s books has a scene in which there are mer-people. They are mentioned as such every paragraph or so for several pages. There’s a statue, as well, and I think some chains. I thought I had managed to expunge that.

Definitely bed-time. Good night!

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1662

Misery’s the rhythm of the world… avva nother Trouser Stiffener.

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1663

That was not necessarily what I was thinking of. It would all be much tidier, though, had you chosen to adopt a seal persona. Anyway, get to bed and please don’t make the pillow wet, either by greeting or by shapeshifting. Tomorrow is… A Great Big Fish (according to Nuggan)

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1664

You’re wrong there. It’s easy to spot acshually dead fish. They’re the ones coated in crrrrispy batter, keeping hot in the cabinet section above the fryer.

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1665

I think I shall ignore that and call a
#yardaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm

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